Contributing writer
Grazie S. Christie
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Ghost Stories for the Disturbed 02138 Mind
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It’s not easy being a 400 year-old plaything to 6,700 undergraduates. Unable to escape the brutal nightly hazings by intoxicated freshman, tormented by the inferiority complex that comes from being used quite literally as a “john,” and gloomy from serving as the running inside joke around campus, the ghost of the John Harvard statue has lost a lot of spirit. To compensate for his nightly humiliations, the John Harvard statue ghost looks for sources of validation. He attracts countless legions of tourists to mindlessly photograph his statuesque physique. He lures the uninitiated into caressing his golden toe. And yet, in the end, all his ghoulish efforts somehow still leave him feeling hollow inside.