Andrew's Essay

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Successful Harvard Medical School Essay

I vividly recall the surge of emotion and chills that ran down my spine as I wandered through the free health clinic in a rural, impoverished Salvadoran town. I met a kind nurse who cared for hundreds of patients by herself. She showed me her two tiny examination rooms, both littered with overly used equipment. It was sobering, but inspiring. No experience has been more impactful than witnessing the need for accessible, quality healthcare, especially in an area so close to my heart.
Twenty-two years ago, my family adopted me from El Salvador. Over that time, they showed me how to care about people, keep a sharp focus on my goals, and always deliver on my word. Their teaching by example, coupled with the realization of just how fortunate I am, has led me to my passion. I want to spend the rest of my life helping others improve theirs, and believe that becoming a physician is how I’ll do it.

My decision to pursue medicine began with a great deal of pain. It was the end of my eighth grade basketball season, in the semi-finals of a tournament. During the third quarter, I stole the ball from the other team, and dribbled up the court on a fast break. As I elevated for a layup, an opposing player charged into my body. SNAP! I immediately felt severe discomfort running up my leg, and knew something was very wrong. As the trainers helped me off the court, I watched the swelling around my ankle continue to grow. My first trip to
the emergency room resulted in an inconclusive diagnosis, and a scheduled appointment with an orthopedic surgeon.

The next day, I was diagnosed with a fractured ankle, which unfortunately meant my season was over. The orthopedic surgeon’s vast knowledge of anatomy and physiology and explanation of my injury using X-rays captivated my attention, and sparked my interest in medicine. Over the next six weeks, I rehabilitated my ankle and returned to sports as healthy and quickly as possible. Grasping the impact of a medical profession, I set out to become a physician.

Setting goals was a habit growing up. Academics and sports were my primary focus, and in grade school, I dreamt of playing a varsity sport and set a goal in fourth grade to graduate as valedictorian of my class. These goals shaped the next eight years of my life, as I learned to balance schoolwork with playing sports. I was determined to excel inside and outside of the classroom, and worked very hard.

Throughout high school, I strove for academic and athletic excellence. Through dedication and perseverance, I started for three years in
basketball and baseball, was named captain of both teams as a senior, led both teams to playoff appearances, and graduated as class valedictorian. While my academic and athletic experiences were very fulfilling, the highlight of my time in high school was sharing my love for sports and academics with children. Every summer, I volunteered to help my coaches run camps for kids in kindergarten through eighth grade. During these camps, I taught the fundamentals of the game and emphasized the importance of determination, commitment, and teamwork. Coaching the kids was extremely rewarding, and allowed me to develop an even temper and positive attitude, even in stressful situations. This experience also helped me discover a strong interest in teaching that I hope to develop as a physician.

In college, I’ve had extensive shadowing experience. One unforgettable moment came in the emergency room when a patient coded. I watched as physicians and nurses urgently tried to stabilize the patient, to no avail. I learned two challenging lessons from the patient’s passing: medicine affects patients, their families, and healthcare professionals equally, and witnessing death is unavoidable when working in medicine. These lessons, among many others learned through my shadowing experiences, have provided me with invaluable
insight into the daily life of physicians and surgeons, as well as the demands and rewards medicine offers.

Although my shadowing experience was enjoyable, I desired to learn more about the aspect of medicine that shapes clinical practice–research. Through my research experiences, I discovered the intricate relationship between research and clinical medicine. As I spent a summer studying tendon development with some of the world’s brightest minds in Boston, the importance of collaboration and perseverance in effectively translating research from bench to bedside became clear. Now, I hope to combine my love for medicine with
my research interests to broaden the scope of my work. This approach will be personally fulfilling while enabling me to make a valuable contribution to biomedical science.

Life experiences shape us as individuals. An unfortunate sports injury sparked my interest in medicine, while clinical and research experiences and a visit to a clinic in my birth country further strengthened my ambition. Ultimately, I hope to return to that Salvadoran clinic as a medical student and physician to provide quality healthcare to those in need. I’m excited about moving forward and the opportunities that lie ahead.

Professional Review by International Medical Aid

This great example of the AMCAS personal statement makes the thesis clear from the start which is that of the writer’s wish to ensure “good health” by “doing more”.

The narrative presents this thesis through specific examples that gradually broaden in scope: from “my little brother” to “the stranger in the grocery storey.” It also expands across social segments, when the writer finds myriad meanings for “good health” across “countries, cultures and individuals”.

The second part of the thesis, which is to “do more”, is presented through two compelling arguments: that research and medicine are always evolving, and that there is always more to be done. Technical terms are used to show knowledge of medical practices while also revealing curiosity and aptitude for clinical research.

The essay then shifts to how being an ‘extraordinary physician’ involves being empathetic and paying attention to socioeconomic factors. The generalization that medicine is both a science and an art since it touches humans is well-situated in contextual examples of underrepresented groups in Guatemala and Kenya.

The wish to “do more” reveals the writer’s growth mindset as well as a passion for medicine in simple but effective words that befit the personal statement.

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Keizra’s Essay

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Successful Harvard Medical School Essay

I sat in the US Senate’s Hart Building, memo in hand, nervously awaiting my chance to explain the complexities of an FDA draft guidance to staffers working on the Senate counterpart to the 21st Century Cures bill. This FDA draft guidance would, if finalized, increase the regulatory burden on laboratories developing genetic tests. Although nearly all the scientists I interviewed felt this guidance would unreasonably slow the integration of Next Generation Sequencing genetic tests into diagnostics, I learned that their story ignored the many inadequacies which currently plague genetic testing.

As I began to explain my memo, I thought of the first time I watched a doctor offer a genetic test to a patient. Dr. Patel, a geriatric psychiatrist, was offering a test to help determine which drugs might be most effective for her schizophrenic patient. This test seemed to offer an alternative to a frustrating experience that many patients face: trying various medication regimens to see which works best. The patient’s excitement was palpable, but I couldn’t help but recognize the sad truth that for this patient, a person of color, the diagnostic tools could be less than perfectly reliable. In a world where 80% of the DNA in genetic databases is European, I struggled knowing that these tests are significantly less effective for people of color than for individuals of European descent.

These hidden inequalities in emerging diagnostic tools, when combined with existing inequalities in access to care, have solidified my desire to work as a physician to care for marginalized individuals. As a doctor, I hope to help vulnerable patients access the care they desire while treating them with the respect they deserve, a goal I have looked to advance prior to medical school. During my first two years at Duke, I had countless conversations with my peers about the pressure they felt to embody “effortless perfection.” This expectation, whether self or culturally imposed, created a stigma around speaking out about one’s struggles, fears, and insecurities, which in turn led to a wariness towards accessing campus mental health resources. While Vice President of Equity and Outreach on Duke Student Government, I made combating “effortless perfection” my priority. I felt it was time to give students a space to discuss their struggles and make mental health resources more accessible. These experiences led me to create Duke’s first Mental Health Awareness Month. One particular event, a panel for students suffering from mental illness to discuss their experiences, was attended by over 100 students. Through the month’s programming, students were able to find strength and support in the recognition that they were not alone in their struggles. As a physician, I hope to leverage this understanding to create a space in my exam room where I work to understand and affirm patients’ experiences in the hopes that I can make their illnesses less isolating.

Though it was extraordinarily fulfilling to create awareness of accessible mental health resources, I also sought to combat another impediment to care: access. This year, I have worked to provide abortion access to women who cannot afford their procedures through the DC Abortion Fund. As a case manager, I work with women in all stages of their abortion access process. For some, I simply help them close the gap in their funding. For others, I work with them from start, finding a clinic, all the way to finish, helping to fund the procedure. This work has revealed to me the mountain of circumstances that vulnerable women seeking funding for abortion face. Every time I call a patient, the first question I ask is, “Can I leave a voicemail on this phone and can I identify myself?” This question is a constant reminder that for many of these women, accessing this care is an act of resistance against circumstances outside of their control like homelessness, domestic abuse, and poverty.

One of the patients I aided, Ms. E, found out she was pregnant while at an urgent care appointment for debilitating anxiety. She only learned about the Fund because her physician sat with her in the exam room helping Google resources for abortion care. This physician recognized that without adequate resources, her patient would not have the agency to choose her next steps. As a physician, I will view it as my highest responsibility to understand patients’ lives and circumstances. Without understanding the systemic barriers many patients face, I do not believe one can optimally care for a patient. Even when a patient has access to care, I know that treating vulnerable patients demands cultural understanding. While shadowing Dr. Lo, a plastic surgeon in Philadelphia, I saw first-hand how physicians can utilize their knowledge to create a safe space. I watched Dr. Lo work with a transgender-identifying patient seeking cosmetic surgery as a part of her gender confirmation process. Dr. Lo treated this patient with dignity and respect through the simple act of using her correct pronoun, ignoring the fact that her birth name and gender were associated with her insurance. This simple act of recognizing a patient’s true identity reminded me of the vital need for good doctors: I can only hope to one day be among their number.

Professional Review by Admissions Helpers

Several features make Keizra’s essay strong and engaging. First, the essay contains a unifying theme that gives the reader a clear sense of the applicant’s motivations. Using different examples and anecdotes throughout the essay, Keizra demonstrates their commitment to working with “marginalized” and “vulnerable” individuals.

This essay also demonstrates an awareness of some of the key challenges in today’s healthcare system. Specifically, Keizra discusses inequity in genetic testing for people of color, the impact of social determinants on access to critical healthcare services like abortion, and the need for inclusivity for diverse patients including members of the LGBTQIA+ community. The strength in this discussion is that Keizra directly connects each challenge to their lived experiences.

Finally, each of the different ideas presented in the essay are explicitly tied to the applicant’s desire to become a physician, allowing the reader to understand why and how their experiences have shaped their motivations. When writing about genetic testing, mental health services for college students, and caring for Ms. E, Keizra’s essay does an excellent job highlighting the kind of doctor they aspire to be.

While the essay is strong overall, there is opportunity for improvement. The explanation Keizra offers about why they want to be a physician (in the 3rd paragraph) could be further developed. In particular, one can’t help but wonder why Keizra wants to fight the inequalities as a physician and not through another career such as politics or public health? The reasons why Keizra wants to practice clinical medicine are not clearly articulated. The essay also ends fairly abruptly, failing to give the reader a cohesive and memorable closing argument. Ideally, a personal statement ends by providing reflections on the key ideas presented and pulling everything together with a powerful summative statement. This is difficult with limited space but could have nevertheless been achieved by rewording and omitting certain details in other areas of the essay.

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Mark's Essay

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Successful Harvard Medical School Essay

“You have all the time.”

"Jay" was an advanced heart failure patient, unsure whether to continue treatment. But he needed to make a decision quickly. His EKG read “ventricular tachycardia.” Dr. D, though, saw the situation differently: Jay had “all the time.”

I analyze conversations like this in the LAB NAME Lab, where we study patient-physician communication, trying to understand what it means to provide patient-centered care. My research begins with the question: What is interesting in this encounter? In this interaction, Dr. D’s remark—“you have all the time”—caught my eye. It didn’t make sense. Jay’s arrhythmia was potentially life-threatening: he had no time. Surely, Dr. D, a cardiologist, knew this. And while Dr. D was personable in his other encounters with patients, he had never prioritized talking over treating. Why then, with Jay, did he ignore the “medical” side of medicine? At the time, I thought patient care revolved around somatic intervention. I was an EMT, after all. My job was to save people: if someone was bleeding, I didn’t stop to chat. I wrapped their bleed.

However, months later, my perception of medicine slowly began to change. Working as an EMT, I was dispatched to “Leo.” UNIVERSITY NAME staff had dialed 911 as he was heavily intoxicated. Immediately, Leo announced that he was fine; “You can leave,” he said to me. The situation seemed strange, though: alcohol by himself on a Monday afternoon? I thought: Should I ask Leo why he was drinking? But, perhaps, Leo was unable to be vulnerable around all the strangers in their uniforms. Hesitantly, I asked my partner and the mass of firefighters to step outside. I thought I could get Leo to open up. I recall sitting at eye level with him, considering what to say, aware of everyone outside, unsure if I was wasting their time. But in the end, I just talked—student to student. I described my life: how it felt to be away from family; how I missed home. Leo said nothing; so I kept speaking, conscious of myself. There was more silence, but then he replied, “I miss home too.” I waited for more; and Leo continued, “I need help.”

My interaction with Leo was at odds with my own understanding of medicine at that point; not once did I offer him an assessment of his blood pressure or his multicolored vomit. But had I done those things—focused on Leo’s physical condition—our encounter might have ended differently. I may never have discovered his intent to commit self-harm. Leo chose to be open with me, I think, because he trusted me, because I was open with him. Our ability to talk—student to student, not EMT to student—allowed us to be honest with each other. A disconnect between Leo and me would have failed both to address the root of his problem and to treat him as more than a brief emergency.

Now, I think that I better understand Dr. D’s remark to Jay. Maybe, he sought to humanize Jay, to reinforce his agency as a patient in a place that dealt with his physical ailments. Jay’s choice would have implications for the rest of his life. Perhaps, Dr. D wanted Jay to know that he was the decision-maker, that he controlled his own future. To Dr. D, the other aspect of medicine—the human side—was just as important as all the medications and IVs and drugs and shocks. I’ve begun to see that a physician’s work is stereoscopic. There is the intriguing and challenging human element, the opportunity to form meaningful relationships with patients. Then there is the somatic aspect, the chance to treat difficult medical conditions. I am drawn to medicine because of this duality.

As a physician, I’d like to develop my own ability to simultaneously practice the technical and personal elements of medicine. I think that patient-centered care might give my patients more than a fixed knee or a lower heart rate. Hopefully, they would feel healed, helped, respected—not as if I were just interested in fixing their physical ailments. I also think I’d enjoy medicine more if I could connect with my patients: talk to them as people, not just patients.

But, through the LAB NAME Lab, I’ve seen how difficult it can be to combine the objective and human sides of medicine. In patient-physician encounters, one of these two sides is often left out—it is hard to ask patients about their dogs when their livers are failing. Moreover, I’m not sure I can deconstruct Dr. D’s ability to communicate with patients like Jay: put it into a single competency that all doctors must master. It isn’t just empathy, honesty, or authenticity. I might describe it as humanity, the ability to talk to others without a machine-produced script. However, textbooks don’t feature a “How to Communicate Like Dr. D” section, and it isn’t a skill I imagine I will ever be done learning. The challenge of medicine appeals to me, though. I want a career in which I can constantly discover more.

Ultimately, I don’t expect to learn only in the clinic or hospital as a doctor. I will continue to do research on patient-physician communication. My work will likely inform my future medical practice, and, maybe, eventually I could teach what I’ve learned to residents and medical students.

As Dr. D has shown me, a physician’s work is complex and demanding. But the result can give patients like Jay “all the time.”

Professional Review by Premed Advocates

The compelling Personal Statement you've just read exemplifies the power of introspective storytelling. The author's reflection, highlighting his evolving understanding of medicine and future ambitions, led to acceptances and scholarships from prestigious medical schools like Johns Hopkins, Yale, Duke, UCLA, Mayo, Vanderbilt, Northwestern, and Mt Sinai.

At PreMed Advocates, we help create personal statements that keep the applicant as the central figure of the narrative. While many personal statements tend to recount the applicant's journey to medical school, often involving personal illness experiences or “inspirational” patient-doctor interactions, these narratives can inadvertently shift the focus onto the stories of others, and away from you—the main character.

Our reflective storytelling approach keeps your unique perspective at the heart of your personal statement. Through collaborative brainstorming, meticulous editing, and interview preparation, we guide applicants in transforming their experiences into a compelling narrative. Our method is also deeply rooted in our thorough understanding of medical school admissions rubrics and processes, which we've derived from extensive research and detailed profiling of each institution.

The PreMed Advocates difference lies in our unique approach. We equip our applicants with the tools they need to succeed, and supplement this with personalized, one-on-one guidance.

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