A Harvard Winter-Horrorland: Best Places to Slip-and-Face-Plant on Campus

New England winter is in full swing, bringing with it snowy mornings, a newfound appreciation for the dhall tea selection, and oh…what’s that? You take a step and, suddenly, the soles of your shoes slide out from under you! Before you know it, you’re on the ground — cold, disoriented, and questioning every life choice that got you here.

That’s right! The winter also signifies the return of Harvard’s most humiliating extreme sport: trying not to slip on ice while getting to class. While we can’t exactly tell you how to avoid being humbled by ice, we can point out the worst best places to face-plant on campus!

The Science Center Plaza at midday

There is truly nowhere busier on campus between the hours of 12-2 p.m. on a weekday than the Science Center Plaza. The pressure to keep up a decent walking pace is already intense enough, let alone trying to avoid adding a poorly-timed tumble to it. Bonus points if you happen to slip while trying to get through Meyer Gate, or in front of The Chicken and Rice Guys. Nothing pairs better with their halal chicken bowl than a side of secondhand embarrassment.

The crosswalk in front of Smith Campus Center

Regardless of whether or not jaywalking is at play (let’s be real), this is prime territory for slipping while crossing Mass Ave. With hordes of buses, shuttles, cars, other students, and tourists, this can prove to be one of the most public falls imaginable. And, don’t forget the many glass fish-bowl study rooms that will be watching from above. You’ve got eyes on you from all angles, so remember to look both ways (and where you’re stepping)!

Outside of Sever Hall on a Thursday

The exodus from Sever after Thursday sections is a force of nature. Tripping here puts you at risk of being trampled by a stampede of history concentrators, first-years in Expos, and los estudiantes de clase de Español. Worst time, worst place.

In front of a big tour group at the John Harvard Statue

We’ve all seen the masses that engulf the John Harvard statue on our way to class — large, dense, and unforgiving. For some people, taking a fall at this location can have a silver lining. Maybe it gets you out of being asked to take someone’s picture, or maybe it even helps prevent someone else from touching the toe (for the common good). Also, unlike the other locations, you probably (fingers crossed) never have to see these tourists ever again! See, people, sometimes you just need perspective.

The steps of Widener

Saving the best worst for last, this one is a no-brainer. While tumbling down the steps of Widener is a real possibility regardless of the season, it’s especially hazardous during the winter, when the salty, wooden steps tend to already be blocked by people taking pictures (tourists, sigh). Particularly clumsy Flyby readers should consider taking the back entrance instead.

Even though slipping during your daily commute to class is not something any of us strive to do, at the end of the day it happens to us all. We promise your social image will remain unscathed — well, unless it is a really big fall. Then maybe the site will be memorialized on Google Maps for all to see, just like the Boston Cop Slide.

And, while we here at Flyby can’t prevent your run-ins with ice, we can warn you of the weather ahead if you subscribe to Harvard Today!