Flyby Ranks: Super Bowl Ads
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Super Bowl LIX brought big-budget ads packed with humor, excitement, and star power — but did they hit the mark? Let’s break down the biggest successes and fumbles from this year’s commercial lineup.
My Top Three
This ad immediately captured the top spot on my list when I came face-to-face with Seal the seal (however disconcerting he may be). Truly a masterpiece in low-brow humor, only bettered by the fact that the Seal seal was singing a lime-centric rendition of his single “Kiss From a Rose.” This ad had the same energy as hearing a Harvard professor casually mention they “used to advise a president” — unexpected, absurd, and kind of iconic.
Instacart brought out the all-star lineup for this commercial. Truly the crossover of the century: Mr. Clean, the Kool-Aid Man, the Pillsbury Doughboy, a pack of Heinz weiner dogs, and the Old Spice Man on a white horse all racing to the door of an unsuspecting Instacart user? It reminded me of the chaotic post-Justice-lecture dash to get a selfie with Sandel. I was enthralled by the cinematics of it all. This was a spectacle of organized chaos that also related extremely well to the product being advertised, therefore landing it in my top three.
The definition of simple but effective, this ad left zero room for confusion, and I knew exactly what they were selling: MUSTAAAAAAAAAARD. This level of clarity is something Harvard course syllabi could learn from: no scavenger hunt for readings, no vague assignment descriptions — just straight to the point. On a deeper level, this ad actually marks the pinnacle of Heinz’s collaboration between their mustard (aka the yellow condiment) and Kendrick Lamar’s music producer Mustard (aka Dijon Isaiah McFarlane). I'm a big fan of this new partnership and hope to see great things in the future!
My Worst Three
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If you thought the Harvard housing lottery was unsettling, this commercial takes discomfort to a whole new level. For those who wisely looked away, just know that Coffee Mate now sells their creamer in a whipped cream can. For those of you that watched it, I apologize. The dancing tongue was even more off-putting than the HUDS seafood offerings, honestly deterring me from the product entirely. The face an onlooking man was making throughout the whole thing mimicked my reaction to the ad. I think it’s safe to say that we both probably felt an extreme sense of relief when it ended.
The message here was almost heartwarming, like the idea of shopping at the COOP until you see the prices. But the execution? A disaster — one minute and 17 seconds of pure unease. The flesh cowboy and wizard hats were an unnecessary way to represent a person's favorite television genre. Rather than leaving me with a desire to download Tubi, the only thought that comes to mind when I remember this ad is wondering what that flesh hat is gonna look like after four years in Lamont’s climate control…I'll leave that image with you.
Each ad was more confusing than the last. There was the alien one where the Doritos bag blew up their ship (seems like the opposite of a promotion?). Then, there was the Trojan horse one, where the crunch of the chips thwarted their operation. These were both quite similar to the horror-movie-esque one where the characters were… running from an octopus? All three just reminded me of the moment when your TF asks someone who hasn’t spoken yet to contribute to the discussion, and suddenly even your breathing seems too loud. All in all, Doritos presented us with a hodgepodge group that was trying even harder than the history fanatics in my lecture.
Best Celebrity Appearance
Goldilocks and the Three Trucks feat. Glen Powell
Glen Powell’s performance alone made this ad for Ram a cinematic masterpiece; dressed in “rugged woodsy dude” clothes, he punches dragons, drives the truck over a volcano, and drag races with bears in true Goldilocks style as he tries to find the perfect Ram vehicle for him. Glen answers essential consumer questions such as: Can this car jump over a volcano? Or can the truck outrun a family of bears also driving Ram cars? The answer to both of these questions is apparently yes. The plot was about as realistic as thinking you’ll finish (or in my case start) an Ec10 problem set earlier than the night it’s due, yet Glen’s dedicated acting was persuasive. Something tells me we will be seeing a lot of Ram cars on move-in day next year (if it can fit a bear, it can definitely fit your headboard and mini fridge).
Best Song and Dance
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I honestly cannot believe that Martha agreed to do this. This ad started off quaint, boring, and mildly informative — vaguely reminiscent of my orientation week entryway meetings. Then, out of nowhere, it took an unexpected turn and suddenly Martha was singing about Skechers Slip-Ins and doing the TikTok floaty walk dance. (Why did the entryway meetings never have this kind of excitement?) This repetitive yet catchy tune and Martha’s trendy dancing are fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) cemented in my mind and have been showing face whenever I'm trying to study in Widener’s main reading room. While detrimental to my “locking in” abilities, this performance was entertaining and memorable, leading to this ad’s crowning as having the “Best Song and Dance.”
Most Confusing
No, because this was so strange. I think the idea was that the eyebrows were flying away like the ones on the Little Caesars mascot, however, when the brows actually have hair, the entire concept becomes a lot more concerning. Like, I know the eyebrows have nothing to do with pizza bites…but then why were they so prominent? It was giving when a professor says, “this won’t be on the exam,” and you don’t know if you can believe them or not. I spent the rest of the commercial on edge and confused, and by the time a group of caterpillars began bowing to the rogue eyebrows and chanting, “we are not worthy,” I had completely forgotten what Little Caesars was even trying to sell me. I was left with a lingering feeling of unease and a general concern that maybe this will be on the exam...
A good commercial is innovative but not TOO innovative. I need to know what you are selling, a jingle and or song is always a good idea (if you heard me humming the Martha Stewart jingle in Lamont, no you didn’t), and if you are going to pay up for celebrities or many ad spaces you have to commit; think final exam levels of effort, not P/F Gen Ed energy. All in all, the ads of Super Bowl LIX were extremely entertaining, and I look forward to another year of watching more commercials than football in 2026!