Presidential Romance: A Valentine’s Day Date with Harvard’s Finest

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to date a former U.S. president? No? Well, we did it for you anyway. This year, Valentine’s Day just so happens to fall on Presidents’ Day weekend, so why not combine love with a little bit of history? It’s like dating an IOP kid who swears they’re going to be president — except these guys actually made it.

John Adams

Going on a date with John Adams feels like sitting in a history class you can’t escape from. While you brainstorm all possible escape routes quietly eat your meal, Adams monopolizes the conversation, ranting about liberty, government, and his never-ending beef with Thomas Jefferson (talk about a vibe killer). The night ends with a firm handshake and a 45-minute one-sided debate on the Constitution. Unless you need a refresher on the Treaty of Paris for your upcoming paper, a second date is out of the question.

John Quincy Adams

Hope you’re an early riser! John Quincy Adams invites you for a 5 a.m. skinny dip in the Potomac River (because, duh, that’s super normal). After the invigorating (read: horrifically cold) swim, he introduces you to his pet alligator (again, super normal). You can’t tell if he’s trying to impress you or if this is just how he spends every morning. Either way, it’s an unforgettable date.

Rutherford B. Hayes

Rutherford B. Hayes sends a politely-worded letter confirming your dinner plans. You fully intend to go, but, somehow, you just… forget.

Days later, you find his neatly folded note on your desk and realize, with a sinking feeling, that you completely ghosted the 19th president of the United States. You consider writing back — maybe blaming a scheduling mix-up or a family emergency — but, deep down, you know the truth: you simply forgot President Hayes existed.

Theodore Roosevelt

Teddy Roosevelt shows up on horseback, hands you a hunting rifle, and announces, “We’re going on an adventure!” Forget a romantic dinner; your date turns into a wild trek through the Badlands, where you’ll wrestle a bear (naturally) and probably have to build a shelter out of sticks. By the end of the night, you’ve earned his respect, a high-five, and the possibility of someday meeting his son Kermit (not the frog).

Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Over dinner at an intimate restaurant in Hyde Park, FDR talks about his New Deal plans, World War II strategy, and the fact that his greatest regret in life is not getting into the Porcellian Club. But, when you fail to show the appropriate enthusiasm for his policy innovations or, worse, suggest that the Fly is basically the same thing, his expression falters. When you mention that you loved his role in the musical Annie… it’s over.

John F. Kennedy

You meet JFK at an exclusive Georgetown club, where he dazzles you with his wit and wealth. He orders the best champagne and flashes that legendary smile, making you feel like the only person in the room. He’s ridiculously charming, but something tells you he’s not looking for commitment. The date ends when he gets whisked away by the Secret Service, and you’re left wondering if it was all a fever dream. You later find out he took Marilyn Monroe to the same place last week.

George W. Bush

Your date with George W. Bush starts at a casual barbecue joint, where he educates you on why Texas barbecue is the only acceptable barbecue. A few beers deep, George opens up about his childhood and offhandedly drops that he went to Y*le for undergrad. He eventually pivots to describing his love for the Rangers, and you smile and nod along, but you know that a Yalie, even one with a Harvard MBA, is ultimately just not the one for you.

Barack Obama

Obama suggests a casual basketball game for your first date. You spend more time picking teams than actually playing, as he insists on a bipartisan approach. Post-game, you retire to a cozy Chicago bookstore where he reads you excerpts from his latest memoir and scrolls through the Spotify playlist he created just for this occasion. The evening ends with a heartfelt speech about hope and change that leaves you feeling inspired and slightly overwhelmed.

At the end of the day, dating a Harvard alum U.S. president might just teach you more about history, politics, and yourself than you ever bargained for. They might not all be heartthrobs, but they sure know how to leave an impression. So, here’s to finding love in unexpected places — Harvard!