The "I'm Not Tired" Challenge (Impossible)

Between daylight savings making the Yard pitch black by 4:30 p.m. and the endless stream of midterms and assignments, it feels like most of us are running on fumes. Tired of every conversation in the dhall circling back to our collective exhaustion, I challenged myself to go one whole day without uttering the phrase “I’m tired.” Spoiler: I failed spectacularly (it took me five minutes after waking up).

Anyways, here’s your guide to gaslighting yourself and your body that you’re actually thriving and super well-rested!

Time Your REM Cycle

Newton’s laws might be haunting you in Physics 16, but they’re onto something about bodies at rest staying at rest. Why is it so easy to stay awake until 6 a.m. but so hard to wake up at 6 a.m.? I’m somehow able to stay up super late, but I’m unable to ever wake up early enough to get to my 10:30 a.m. section on time. Without multiple forces acting on you (your alarm, a kind roommate waking you up, or the screaming children from the preschool across the street), getting out of bed can feel like an impossible feat.

Pro tip: Use a REM sleep cycle calculator to figure out when to set your alarm. When you wake up during deeper stages of sleep, like REM sleep, you’ll feel more groggy as you go throughout the day. However, when you wake up at the end of a REM sleep cycle, which is when sleep is lightest, this can help you feel more rested and ready to start the day. Bonus, if you have a smartwatch, some of them are even able to figure out when you are at your lightest stage of sleep based on your heart rate and other metrics, and your alarm will go off then accordingly.

Curate Your Wake-Up Playlist

When the struggle to leave your blanket cocoon is real, blast some uptempo music to hype yourself up. Personal favorites include Chappell Roan’s “Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl,” “Feminomenon,” and “HOT TO GO!” to force me to get out of bed. Alternatively, you could just wake up to your pregame mix.

Vitamin C: Your New Best Friend

Forget your daily Veritaffle — Vitamin C is the real MVP, especially when the Cambridge winter has you questioning your college and life choices. Keep those supplements handy for an energy boost that doesn’t require making the trek to Blank Street.

Secure Breakfast

While I’ve only managed to catch breakfast a total of three times this semester, I’m here to tell you that breakfast is worth setting that alarm for. You’ll feel so much better throughout the day because your brain has been nourished, and breakfast is the most important meal of the day (cliché, but true). And even if you can’t make it to breakfast, grabbing a sweet treat like an almond croissant at some point throughout the day still counts (at least that’s what I tell myself).

The Nuclear Option: The All-Nighter Reset

PSA: Don’t make this a habit, or your circadian rhythm will actually crash out. But sometimes, pulling an all-nighter and embracing your inner Lamonster is the only way to really reset and regain a functional sleep schedule. Down an energy drink to make it through the day and then go to bed by 11 p.m. the next day. It’s like turning a computer on and off, but it’s actually your sleep schedule and sanity. While I’m not the biggest proponent of caffeine or energy drinks, desperate times call for desperate measures.

We’re in the home stretch! Thanksgiving break is so close, and winter break isn’t far behind. And even if the sun has set by your 4 p.m. section, together, we’ve got this.

This writer is currently surviving on nothing but sweet treats and sheer willpower.