How to Scare Yourself: Harvard Edition

It’s that time of year again: when the leaves turn golden, the air gets crisp, and the undergrads start getting… spooked. But not by ghosts or ghouls — oh no. At Harvard, the real horrors come in much more familiar, sinister forms.

Leave Your Pset to the Last Minute

Nothing is more terrifying than realizing your pset deadline is hurtling toward you at the speed of light — especially when it’s Friday night, and you’re still convincing yourself you’ll be able to make it to that party (we have those here?) later. The real horror? The blank pset staring back at you, reflecting your sadness and silently judging your life choices. Cue the existential crisis: “Is it too late to drop this class?” Spoiler alert: it is.

Turn on Canvas Notifications

Few things send chills down your spine like waking up, grabbing your phone, and seeing those haunting words — Assignment Graded: Midterm 1. You hesitantly swipe, heart pounding, only to find your grade for that midterm you swore went fine. The plot twist? It didn’t. And just like that, your GPA becomes the protagonist in its own tragic horror story. Should’ve gone to office hours.

Don’t Check the Weather

You left your dorm in what felt like a brisk fall breeze, but halfway across the Yard, it’s basically an Arctic tundra. Now, every gust of wind feels like the ghost of your poor life decisions coming back to haunt you. You know you’re way underdressed, but at this point, it’s too late to turn back (Should’ve subscribed to Harvard Today). And to top it off, you’re pretty sure your situationship saw you shivering like a leaf in the wind. Perfect. Just perfect.

Don’t Do Your Readings

It’s section time. You confidently stroll in like you’ve got your life together. But in reality? You didn’t even look at the readings. The TF starts scanning the room, and you sit in dread, avoiding eye contact, heart racing every time the TF looks your way. But of course, to facilitate a transformative conversation, they call on you. “Can you unpack the argument from the second reading?” You’re left with nothing else to say but, “I think it’s profound…” while your soul quietly leaves your body. News flash: it wasn’t profound, and neither was your answer.

Skip Class

You know you deserve an off day. Don’t go to that class. Surely nothing important will happen. You roll out of bed and casually check your phone — only to see it flooded with messages about the surprise in-class quiz you missed. Time to email the professor with your best “family emergency” excuse and hope for the best! (For legal reasons, Flyby does not endorse skipping class and cannot take responsibility for any of these actions if you choose to participate in them.)

Grab Fly-By

You thought you’d be in and out of Fly-By in five minutes. You thought wrong. The line is winding through the Annenberg basement like a giant, coiling snake, and it becomes very clear: lunch is not happening today. Staring at the back of the line, you begin contemplating your life choices. Do you wait? Do you just get a coffee and call it a day? At this point, caffeine seems like your only friend. You wonder if there’s a greater hell than this, but then remember — there’s still that Friday night pset.

Harvard life is spooky enough without the costumes. So, this Halloween, embrace the true frights: psets, Canvas grades, and the eternal struggle of surviving the Fly-By lunch line. Stay safe, stay caffeinated, and remember: the only thing scarier than midterms? Your inbox.