Dear Freshmen: An Open Letter About Handling Failure

Dear Freshmen,

Under any circumstance, coming to college is daunting, and adding a pandemic to the mix just makes it all the more challenging. So take it to heart that making mistakes and “failing” (whatever that may mean) are a part of the life experience, and certainly part of the Harvard repertoire. When you find yourself feeling less than ideal, know that you’re not alone… even if you may feel lonely quarantining in your room. We guarantee you that any upperclassman you know has experienced a long list of failures, too.

Freshman fall is a shock to your system. Taking on new classes while trying to make friends and get situated to life away from home (or college life at home) is a lot to balance, and honestly just feels overwhelming. And when it’s so easy to look at your peers posting their job opportunities on LinkedIn and presenting their day in curated Instagram stories and filtered posts, it’s hard not to compare yourself to the outward images that others present. Think beyond the laughter you see on Widener steps, and think about the struggles that are a part of everyone’s lives. Freshman year is hard — college is hard — and it’s time that “failure” becomes normalized.

What even is failure? Getting a lower grade than you’re used to on your first midterm or not making it to the second round of that comp? Maybe in the immediate term this all seems unthinkable, but remember that you only really grow in discomfort. It’s important to remember that setbacks, minor or major, are valid, but if nothing will change if you keep dwelling on the loss, then what’s the point of agonizing over mistakes?

Instead of beating yourself up and filling your conscience with negative thoughts, take a deep breath and evaluate your choices. Take some time to be sad (if you need/want to), but then take action. Either use this as motivation to talk to your TF about possible next steps, or go to office hours for more support with classes, or any other steps that may help you learn from this “failure” and move on. If there’s no real “solution” here, try to just take some time to decompress. Reach out to others; being in your room alone may make you feel more isolated, but your friends, family, PAFs, and other members of the first year advising community are here for you.

Sometimes, failure is just a part of the universe’s plan for you. This isn’t a sign that you’re an imposter — this isn’t a game of Among Us… far from it. Everyone has failed at Harvard, especially in their freshman year. Once you start having these open conversations with your peers, upperclassmen, or faculty, you realize that not always succeeding at something is honestly a norm. Not living up to the expectations that you set for yourself and readjusting expectations are a part of adjusting to college life. The best way to deal with failure is just to get through it, take in any lessons, and try again next time.

Love,

Flyby