An Open Letter from the Charles River

Dear Harvard students,

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I got a B on my most recent EPA report card. I know it might be hard for a group of overachievers such as yourselves to understand getting anything below an A++, but please—just let me explain.

Consider my improvement over the years

The first grade the Environmental Protection Agency gave me in 1995 was a D, so I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I got my first B—meaning I “met standards for almost all boating and some swimming—in 2000, and in 2013 I even got an A-. For the past three years, I’ve gotten a B+.

So this year I lost my edge a little bit, I’ll admit, but is it really about any one year alone? If you employ a more holistic review process, you’ll see that I’ve made big strides. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

Compare me to other rivers in my class

The Potomac got a B- on its latest report card, so I think it’s important to remember that I’m not the only one struggling to get my grades up. Besides, hasn’t my filth always been just a little bit endearing? When you come across a river of questionable cleanliness in another city, you might just turn up your nose, but my “Dirty Water” is emblematic of the grit that makes Boston great.

Look beyond my report card

What does this grade even mean, really? OK, so I met the state’s bacterial water quality standards about 86% of the time for boating, and 55% of the time for swimming. Why should I let that define me? At the end of the day, I’m sure plenty of you are going to go for a dip off the Weeks Bridge or rent a kayak on the river this summer regardless.

Now that you know all these things, I hope you won’t be too dismissive of me for letting my score slip a little this year. Everyone’s grades take a hit at some point—the important thing is to just keep swimming.

Sincerely,

The Charles River