Dude, That's Rude: First Day Back From Break

Welcome back, Harvard!

We get it, being back on campus elicits a pretty confusing mix of emotions. You're simultaneously excited to be freed from the "tyranny" of being home and also mourning the end of break. We've all been there. Still, it doesn't mean you are exempt from social protocol. Here are some classic post-break faux pas to avoid:

Barring any further interference from global warming, it should be cold in a few weeks. Very cold. By Zorigoo Tugsbayar

Bragging about doing the reading already

We all know it’s not true, so don’t waste our time. Worse yet, if it is true, you should really keep that to yourself. You’re only asking to lose friends. No one wants to feel like a disappointment before even getting to the first class. And also try to hide your enthusiasm for the Q Guide review of Hormones and Behavior. We know you want to be “satisfied in every way possible,” but please be less of a try hard while doing it.

False promises about a “New Year, New You”

Your parents may have congratulated you on your New Year’s resolution to keep your room clean, but your roommates know better. Don’t get their hopes. They know that within a half an hour of your return the contents of your suitcase will be strew haphazardly across the common room. And if you think you're going to suddenly be organized now because you bought a pretty planner, think again. No amount of color-coding can change a person, and really, all you did was waste thirty bucks for a fancy Moleskin.

Showing off your "exotic" holiday

We saw enough of your beach photos on Instagram for a lifetime. No, we don't really care about your tan, and neither should you—no one will see it under your winter coat and it'll likely be gone by midterms. Those of us who spent our break binge watching Netflix don’t deserve the shame of hearing about your foray into the tropical rain forest or your nights chilling around bonfires on the beach. Spare us from the FOMO.

Bragging about your presents:

This is elementary. As in, the sort of stuff you learn not to do in grade school. Seriously, we could have bought 6 Mankiw textbooks for the price of that Canada Goose jacket. Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanza were almost a month ago. We’re over it, and frankly, you should be too.

Refusing to share the food your parents sent back with you:

Leftover peppermint bark? Homemade banana bread? We know you’re hiding it under your bed, and that is just really inconsiderate. No one likes a food hog.

We are happy to see you, and we definitely want it to stay that way. But if you try to pull any of these moves on us, we will have to tell you in a not-so-nice way: dude, that’s rude.