Overheard at Tasty Burger

As soon as the clock hits 1:30AM, Tasty Burger instantly begins bustling with activity. I was just enjoying a guilty late night snack when I couldn’t help but overhear all the weird things that people were saying.

1.A: “Dude this place is so crowded. Why do people even come here?”
B: “I know right, I wouldn’t be here if I were them.”

2.A: “...He was really cute, I would have dated him.”
B: “What happened?”
A: “He went to Yale.”

3. A: “...resolving to conform one’s conduct to the natural laws of justice, does that mean     that individual forfeits moral liberty?”
B: “I don’t know but this burger is soooo good. ”

4. Looking at the menu items on the wall:
A: “I’ve tried everything and it’s depressing.”
B: “If Shake Shack opens longer it would earn so much money.”

5. A middle aged man to another slightly older man.
A: “Where did these kids come from? They are all drunk! They are not Harvard students are they?”
B: “No, they can’t be. The Harvard kids must be in their room reading or something.”

6. “I just love sad songs. They make me so happy.”

7. A: “Dude, is that your drama costume?”
B: “I’m fabulous. Now get in line.”

8. “Everybody is so drunk, I love watching drunk people.”

9. A: “Hey how are you?”
B: “I’m good, you?”
A: “I’m great, how are you?”

10. After making a high pitched whining sound for a full minute:
"...what else would a whale say?!"

Things I learned from my peers at 1:30AM: A) I shouldn’t date Yale guys, and B) Instead of attempting to study by eavesdropping on drunk Gov 10 students, I should be in a library reading, just like all the other Harvard kids.