Say What?!

Whether you're strolling through the Yard or spending some quality time outside of your favorite final club, you’ve no doubt overheard some interesting conversations on campus. You’ve heard students complain about how busy they are, and lament about how attractive but unavailable their TF is. Sometimes you hear something so ridiculous that you wish someone else was there and you really want to tell your friends before you forget, but then they’re too busy in an Orgo lab. Well don't worry, because we've got you covered with a few gems recently overheard on campus.


On the way to the science center, two girls walking behind me are talking:
“I hope I can get thesis funding for the summer so that I can go to Cape Cod for two weeks.”
Analysis: One of the nice things about Harvard is that there is funding to do almost any type of research. This particular Junior has an especially creative interpretation of what ‘research’ means. What’s her thesis topic, the architecture of sandcastles?

Enjoying a coffee at Gato Rojo, three grad students next to me are talking:
“When I get a few drinks in me I think slapping guys is one of the most fun things to do.”
Analysis: The rest of the conversation didn’t clear this up in any way. I have no idea.

Walking in front of Widener library, two guys next to me are talking:
“Dude, maybe you should just split with your friends into another blocking group and then we can link.”
Analysis: These two young freshman are experiencing blocking drama in their friend group, with one ‘dude’ trying too hard to bring in some outside buddies. In exasperation, the other friend has decided its not going to work out. Don’t worry though, the consolation prize of linkage is like really meaningful and they’ll totally stay friends.

Doing some work in Lamont Cafe, and again some grad students are talking next to me:
“I have a friend who goes to Georgia State and when she graduates she's going to have twice as many classes as me!”
Analysis: Although you might be a worried and stressed out grad student, have no fear. Despite your degree in the history of Tibetan rug weaving, you still have just as bright a future as your good friend at Georgia.

Walking through the yard and a blond eight year-old with earbuds in says to his older brother:
“Creedence Clearwater Revival. Do you even know who that is?!”
Analysis: This young and precocious 3rd grader has discovered an excellent and underrated folk rock band. If he can turn down the sass and speak more respectfully to his elders, he might one day write for The Crimson's art section.

12:15 a.m. Thursday night, some guy walking down Mass Ave in front of my window singing:
“This could be the end of everything, so why don't we go somewhere only we know.”
Analysis: Quoting lyrics from popular (in 2004) song Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, this gentleman is either experiencing heartbreak or coming back after a few too many drinks from karaoke night. Probably both. Sorry buddy.