The Best Lonely Island Movie Adaptations That Haven't Been Made Yet

The indie Robin Wright film “Adore” made waves (or at least mediocre splashes—33% on Rotten Tomatoes and a modest box office haul) when it hit theaters last month due in part to its controversial storyline involving two mothers who engage in carnal relations with each other’s sons. Despite our most sincere intentions to move out of an SNL-centric pop culture paradigm, we couldn’t help but recognize that the plot of the film was identical the Lonely Island and Justin Timberlake collaboration “Motherlover.” And so the Arts Blog presents our ideas for the most compelling hypothetical films based on other Lonely Island tracks.

“The Creep”

An intensely disturbing and surreal character study by David Lynch, “The Creep” explores three middle-aged brothers’ (Kyle MacLachlan, Bill Pullman, and Jackie Earle Haley) pervasive sexual ritualism. Seemingly successful small-town Michigan grocery store owners by day, the cousins engage in varied forms of peeping-tom voyeurism by night. As the brothers fall deeper into erotic obsession, they begin to be haunted by increasingly Dali-esque flashbacks (or flash-forwards?), which ostensibly trace the origins of their sexual deviance. As the line between reality and fantasy becomes blurred, the viewer is confronted with the possibility that all three brothers are in fact a single entity.

“Dick in A Box”

From acclaimed director Julian Schnabel comes “La Vierge dans la Zone” (American title: The Penis in the Enclosure), an inspiring and ultimately tragic true story of overcoming unthinkable odds to create timeless art. Starring the always-charismatic Olivier Martinez as Jean Voudin, a 1980s porn star who suffers a rare full-penis paralysis while on set, the film traces the construction of Voudin’s innovative splint and his improbable return to work. A polemic on the fleeting nature of fame, Schnabel’s newest work would attract major buzz after receiving a standing ovation out-of-competition at Cannes.

“Like A Boss"

A flashy corporate thriller from Steven Soderbergh set shortly before the 2008 financial collapse, “Like A Boss” stars a fast-talking George Clooney as the CEO of a massively successful international investment firm and Matt Bomer as a highly ambitious and charming analyst quickly making his way up the rungs of the company ladder. As Bomer’s character’s cocaine addiction, obsession with sexual encounters with both sexes, and suicidal thoughts derail his sense of self, he decides to send a series of anonymous letters to Clooney’s character detailing his dangerous lifestyle in an attempt to emotionally disturb him to an extent that his power structure might tumble.

“Threw it On the Ground”

A mumblecore film from Joe Swanberg, “Threw it On the Ground” stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Orson, a bipolar San Francisco hipster who returns to Beverly Hills to attend the 60th birthday party of his estranged millionaire producer father (Jeff Daniels). Set in a single day, the film shows Orson’s expressing his contempt for L.A. vacuity in a series of scenes on the way to his father’s house. He wanders through downtown L.A and, in an especially revelatory episode, throws a borrowed cell-phone on the ground in a moment of frustration at the instant access to communication and information. Upon arriving at the party, Orson argues with two Hollywood actors over their egomaniacal lifestyles. He then gets into a contentious debate with his father over the implications of his excessively large cake and, out of spite, pushes it off the table. Gordon-Levitt is both heartbreaking and oddly lovable in the role, often spouting semi-coherent mantras about “not buying into the system.” Swanberg ultimately presents an all-too-realistic view of potential alienation in the iPhone age.