‘Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call’ Single Review: A Melancholy and Bitter Holiday Ballad

Bleachers’s newest single, “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call,” is a sorrowful ballad centered around the pain of past relationships that the holiday season brings up. The song was released on Nov. 13 after years of writing and teasing at live shows.

“This for anyone who has come to realize someone’s been chipping away at the them and does not intend to stop,” Jack Antonoff, the frontman of Bleachers, wrote about the track’s development in an Instagram post.

The track’s lyrics are an intimate exploration of the agony of revisiting old connections. Antonoff addresses the subject directly, singing, “Don’t act like you were kind / You were mine but you were awful every time.” The outside world is kept separate as Antonoff’s bitter lyrics recall past torments.

The chorus is especially biting as Antonoff asserts, “We both know / What happened to you / Why you’re out on your own,” alluding to the heartache and its lasting impact. While the lyrical content subverts expectations of a cheery holiday song, the booming delivery of these angsty rebukes fits within the genre of holiday music.

Antonoff’s vocals are echoey, often overshadowed by the track’s instrumentals. In the first verse up until the chorus, the vocals are at the forefront as the synths gradually build to the titular line, “Merry Christmas, please don’t call.” The drum beat from the chorus picks up in the following verse and pre-chorus as Antonoff sings, “You really left me on the line kid / Holding all your baggage,” his words almost indiscernible. Yet, this asymmetry in sound works in the song’s favor, with the instrumentals highlighting the tension and depth behind Antonoff’s melancholy lyrics.

The bridge puts the most distance sonically between Antonoff and the instrumentals as he faintly calls out, “One ticket out of your heavy gaze / I want one ticket off of your carousel.” The separation Antonoff desires manifests in this moment before the final chorus comes in, and his vocals return to the foreground. These production choices make for an engaging listen as the sound mirrors the track’s narrative.

Though it departs from the majority of popular holiday music, this somber yet sharp, synth-laden track is classic Bleachers. It’s difficult to imagine the band releasing any other kind of holiday song. Laced with the heartache of confronting betrayal, “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call” emphatically sets firm boundaries for this holiday season.

—Staff writer Anna Moiseieva can be reached at anna.moiseieva@thecrimson.com.