What The Hell Happened: 'Very Demure, Very Mindful'

In recent months, it has been impossible to escape the powerful clutch that the phrase “very demure, very mindful” has had on the internet. From lifestyle tutorials on how to eat demurely and couples accounts describing how to mindfully take care of your significant other to Harvard College’s Instagram captions describing move-in week, this phrase has been applied to almost every situation imaginable, whether applicable or not. This trend is not unique in its short-lived internet glory — the popularization of catchy phrases, their sudden overuse, and social media’s eventual disdain for the once-beloved phrase is a cycle that’s becoming more prevalent than ever.

The phrase “very demure” was first popularized by the content creator Jools Lebron. In a viral video that now has almost five million likes, Lebron described her work-makeup as “very demure, very mindful.” The sound was quickly picked up by hundreds of creators, and the concise, ironic, and sassy wording of the original audio drew the attention of millions of viewers. Lebron has since said that the viral video “has changed [her] life,” with the profits allowing her to upgrade her career and fund the rest of her transition.

“Very mindful, very demure” is not the first phrase of its kind to go viral. Other phrases like “girlboss,” “aura,” and “clean girl” have had similar success as trends. It’s also not the first to experience a quick downfall from popular to trite. After just months, the phrase is beginning to garner sighs instead of laughs. The sudden shift in popular opinion can partially be explained by modern cycles of overconsumption. Among an over-saturation of new content, social media users quickly use, replace, and throw out popular trends.

While the life cycle of an average TikTok trend is roughly three months, this phrase was popular for only two months before the world began to tire of it. The value of a trend like “demure” or “girlboss” is derived from a very specific combination of irony, usability, and chance. “Very demure, very mindful” mocks the unrealistic, delicate expectations placed on women in a subtle enough way that both appeals to young, liberal audiences and also allows it to be adopted by mainstream culture. Its elasticity — the fact that it can be used in almost every situation — and widespread appeal led to the phrase’s quick overuse diminishing its irony, and, as a result, its comedy.

When memes become so popular that they no longer feel like an inside joke, they lose their appeal. And that’s exactly what happened with “very demure, very mindful.” While the trend has given the world a lot, including the inspiring success of its original creator, it may be very mindful to finally shut the door on “demure.”