Songs for Your 9 a.m. Commute to Class

Your professor is running late, your TF is snoozing in the back row, and that first-year just spilled their granola yoghurt down their new Coop sweatshirt. Where could it be but your 9 a.m. class? Every weekday at 8:30 a.m. (or 8:45, if you live life on the edge), campus kids across all 12 houses drag themselves off of their musty sheets and trundle into sweaty lecture halls to get educated.

Within these hallowed halls lie the secrets of science and philosophy that can unlock a lifetime of learning (or a lucrative career at a big three firm); these worthy pursuits keep our alarms early and our naps plentiful — but at what cost? As icy winds close in and Canada Geese proliferate, the endless trudge to class — be it Northwest or Vanserg — looks less appealing with each passing day.

Fear no longer, fellow students. Studies* have shown this playlist, used in conjunction with a healthy diet and regular exercise, increases walking speed by up to 70 percent, and almost doubles early morning productivity. Rise and shine! Your days of morning lethargy and procrastination are over.

*sample size of one

“Acceptable in the 80s” by Calvin Harris

Know this — Calvin Harris was a mere 22 when he crafted the electroclash symphony that is his debut album “I Created Disco” — and on computer that looked like this. Indeed “Acceptable in the 80s” is breathtaking in its artistic scope, from the iconic retro sound aesthetic to the dissection of a sock-puppet genet in its now-legendary music video. To be frank, the bravery of a young Harris in pursuing his singular artistic vision alone should be a motivation to leg it to campus in the morning — but some throwback synth goodness couldn’t hurt either.

“Ice Cream” (Featuring Matias Aguayo) by Battles

For when a good morning isn’t enough, the impeccably paced alt-rock introduction of “Ice Cream” by Battles is the sonic manifestation of sheer, unadulterated light, instantly transporting the listener into a state of uncontrollable catharsis. Since its release in 2011, experts have debated whether this song should come with a content warning due to its ability to induce borderline spasmic joy. Listen with caution.

“Unsquare Dance” by The Dave Brubeck Quartet

Described by Brubeck himself as a “challenge to the foot-tappers, finger-snappers and hand-clappers”, “Unsquare Dance” is not your average boot-stomper — far from it, the Quartet’s edgy groove will have you concocting intricate footwork across the red-brick paths of Cambridge.

“Vroom Vroom” by Charli XCX

For those of us that cannot afford to roll up to class in a lavender lamborghini, let us live vicariously through Charli XCX and her hyper-pop perfect world of sparse beats and blue bikinis. XCX’s output may be of particular interest to those in the social sciences — described by one journalist as a “party anthropologist,” Charlie XCX serves as a reminder to all of us that wisdom can come from all sorts of places, from Sever 202 to an 808 drum.

“Dance This Mess Around” by The B-52’s

Thanks to their relentless surf-rock basslines and liberal usage of kitschy sunshine-yellow on album covers, The B-52’s are a no-brainer when it comes to morning pump-up anthems. Like many of their songs, “Dance This Mess Around” is a certifiable new-wave bop, but with a twist — Cindy Wilson’s effortless screamo in the chorus is nothing short of visceral, leaving the listener unsure whether to dance, or simply quiver in amazement at the artistic achievement that is The B-52’s entire musical output. Just the kind of primal energy you need for your 9 a.m. Intro Spanish drill section.

—Staff writer Lauren V. Marshall can be reached at lauren.marshall@thecrimson.com.