Harvard Students Offer Interpersonal Lessons

“Your Relationship GPA: Lessons from Harvard Students on How to Make Time for What Matters Most,”wears many hats. The book by Gregory M. Foster ’17 and Stephen A. Turban ’17 manages simultaneously to be an extensive research paper, a series of Harvard Business School-like case studies, a compilation of personal essays, and a synthesis of important interpersonal—if obvious—life lessons. The blend of voices and styles ultimately drives home those lessons, albeit repetitively.

Geared toward students attending or about to attend college, the book lays out a systematic approach for navigating college’s manifold relationships: peer-to-peer, professor-to-student, and parents-to-burgeoning young adult. While the book is extremely clear and concise with easy-to-follow chapter headings including “Take Initiative,” “Listen Well,” and “Give Often,” it is hardly revelatory. It makes sense that students must learn to prioritize making and developing meaningful connections in certain areas of their lives. Seeking out professional and/or personal mentors also seems an inarguably good idea. Similarly, it is difficult to dispute the advice provided to strike a balance between honing new relationships and keeping in touch with family and lifelong friends.

The book’s ability to tackle such outwardly apparent topics with flair and spunk makes the text not just informative but also engaging. “Wherever you’re heading, whoever you are, however old you are, you can always reorient yourself,” Foster and Turban write. “Relationship skills are an investment; the sooner you start investing, the better off you’ll be.” The book ultimately treats such sensible points with candor and convivial banter (with a few too many references to cheesecake that fail to deliver any coherent punchline), and yet it often ascribes epiphany status to seemingly logical suggestions.

The book does benefit from Foster’s and Turban’s status as Harvard students. The two use that niche to contrast the often competitive (perhaps, especially at Harvard) academic “Grade Point Average” with the “Relationship Grade Point Average,” which, they argue, has a greater impact on happiness and personal fulfillment in the end. The characteristically compelling introduction from Dean of Freshman Thomas A. Dingman ’67 aside, the book uses Harvard examples and case studies which readers easily can extrapolate to fit relationships forged at their colleges, workplaces, or, really, anywhere. Again, it all makes so much sense, and Turban and Foster have capitalized on this heretofore untapped, in-plain-sight power.

The strength of “Your Relationship GPA” lies in the relatable anecdotes that Foster and Turban collected during interviews with Harvard students. Indeed, more of these personal, telling stories would have rounded out the heavily footnoted case studies and secondary source material, which resulted in the bulk of the text reading like a comprehensive psychology paper. The blend of the personal and the scholarly worked fairly well to bolster the authors’ overarching point—that honing a network of friendships, mentorships, and even romances in college ultimately leads to a more fruitful life after graduation—although switching between the two styles at times felt disorienting. Overall, though, the book follows through on the promise it outlines: sharing the tips and tricks of the trade for focusing on interpersonal development in college.

—Staff writer Melissa C. Rodman can be reached at melissa.rodman@thecrimson.com. Follow her on Twitter @melissa_rodman.