Guilty Pleasures: Jaden Smith’s Tweets

After Jaden Smith’s sabbatical from Twitter in May 2015, I think it is time we realize that we cannot lie to ourselves any longer: If you do not secretly love and hoard Jaden Smith’s tweets, you must not have read any yet. They may not “make any sense at all” and they may “be a trend of like, 2014, let them go” but there is no denying that Jaden’s tweets are things of a certain undefinable appeal. The only real defense his Twitter account needs is a transcript and enough time to read it.

Sure, his account is riddled with spelling errors, overuse of capitalization, and self-aggrandizing plugs, and yes, he retweets more than is strictly societally acceptable. But with gems like “If I Had A Nickel For Every Time I’ve Cried In The Back Of An Uber, I Would Have Another Pair Of Yeezy’s,” “You Can Discover Everything You Need To Know About Everything By Looking At Your Hands,” and the eternal “How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real,” we must look past superficial judgements of fame and lingual standardization and into the future. As Jaden himself puts it: “I Don’t Want You Guys To Think Because I Was Born In America That I Speak And Abide By English Grammar. I Speak Jaden, Indefinitely.”

His entire account is a goldmine of unrelated and confounding declarations. A surprising portion focuses on trees, and another sector revolves around our need to look inwards for self-value. He perfectly captured the peculiar feeling we all have when seeing Owen Wilson anywhere, including films. Plus, there’s always his iconic birthday tweet, ominous self-addressing prophecy, and heartfelt lobbying against Instagram. There is not really a downside here. If nothing else, all we should take from this is that his tweets are largely benevolent and entirely entertaining. Jaden has invented the perfect harmless guilty pleasure. Basically, if you aren’t shame-reading his tweets while trying to avoid that one response paper, you should be.