The Clique: A Harvard Essential

High school is a thing of the past for college students, with most of those turbulent times thankfully behind us. But one trend that persists, even at Harvard, is the clique.

Many assume that cliques do not exist in college, associating them with the hip, judgmental, Regina George-esque sass-mouthers that create a culture of hierarchal popularity.

To clarify, I don’t mean clique in the traditional sense of social elitism here. I mean it as a social group consisting of your closest, most supportive friends.

There is a chance that by becoming a part of a clique, you stymie your chance to socialize, all because some prefer 10 close friends to scores of acquaintances.

On opening days and throughout freshman fall, proctors, PAFs, and upperclassmen will tell you to go out and meet as many people as you can. “Don’t compare, connect,” they will tell you.

Find out who likes the same sports teams as you do or digs cooking lo mein instead of looking for those who interned at the White House or helped dig a well for a village in Belize and trying to figure what it is that you can do to get ahead.

And don’t worry so much about academics at first. Taking the hardest classes is great, but what if you find a problem set impossible to do? Or find studying for a particular exam overwhelming? Or see yourself slipping into depression the first few weeks you are here because you are not performing at the level you wanted?

Where do you go for help, comfort, and solace?

At some point, you are going to have to find a place where you can open yourself to others. By having your foot in the door of 10 organizations, you may not be able to commit enough of yourself to any of them to foster a strong relationship.

This is why cliques are important. Stick to people that make you feel good about yourself and what you have accomplished, not people who make you think what you are doing is simply not enough. In fact, this abyssal desire to keep striving for perfection is why so many Harvard students fall into depression.

It is human nature to be attracted and to feel comfortable with people who are most like you. This is why friends and relationships are two things cliques provide immediately. These people will be the ones you spend the most time outside of classes with. These people give a sense of belonging and comfort in all parts of life, whether it is academics, religion, or hobbies.

With culture and religion come dietary restrictions, congregations, holidays, and observances. Often, cultural organizations become the primary social circle for many students because they can relate to others in the circle, talk to them about their problems, and figure how to get around them within cultural or religious limits.

Cliques can help you learn so much. If you do not connect with these people, you may have to learn things the hard way, through experience. In fact, you already give yourself a head start by talking to upperclassmen in these cliques and groups about the dos and don’ts of freshman year and Harvard.

I am not saying don’t socialize. But find what groups speak to your passions and needs. Get to know those people and build a relationship in which they are your go-to people for anything and everything. Treat them as family because they really are your family away from home.

My advice is so cliché, yet some students take years to grasp its essence: Do not give heed to those who make you feel bad and find those you make your day every day.

Shahrukh Khan ’17 is a Crimson editorial writer in Mather House.