FM Presents: An Open Letter to 01238 Magazine

Dear 02138,

Thank you so much for your publication of “The Harvard 100,” where you feature famous and influential Harvard alumni, particularly those who have truly contributed something to the world (like Matt P. Damon, number 70, who was also People magazine’s sexiest man alive in 2007). In past years, however, you seem to have left out several key contributors to society (though you managed to include Harvard’s most treasured Golden Boy—President George W. Bush, number 2)—on the list. In order to avoid such omissions in this year’s list, FM respectfully submits these notable alumni for your consideration.

First, you seem to have forgotten D. Zachary Tanjeloff ’08, avid entrepreneur and party-thrower, whose name is locally, nationally, and globally recognizable. Another alumnus that should surely be included is Eugene M. Plotkin ’00, a research analyst for Goldman Sachs who was savvy enough to make $6.7 million before a judge sentenced him to 57 months in prison for something silly like “insider trading.” It would also be preposterous to skip Frederick H. Gwynne ’51, forever known to audiences everywhere as Herman Munster of the sitcom “The Munsters.” And what about one of the most influential alumni of all time, Rivers Cuomo ’99-’06, Weezer rocker? You could take his picture by the pool, because he’s the next big thing. Don’t feel too poorly about your mistakes—it certainly isn’t easy sifting through the sea of brilliance that is Harvard to find notable alumni. Good luck with preparing this year’s list!

Sincerely,

Fifteen Minutes