‘Chuck Norris Doesn’t Endorse; He Tells America How It’s Gonna Be.’

When sitting down to make decisions about which candidate to support this primary season, voters should remember who will protect them from a Chuck Norris-patented roundhouse kick to the face: former Arkansas Governor Michael D. Huckabee. As the sole Chuck Norris-approved candidate in the race, Huckabee is the clear choice for president.

To those for whom Chuck Norris is not convincing enough, just remember that you’re eschewing the judgment of a man who’s counted to infinity—twice. And if that is not enough, consider why Huckabee has gained so much attention in the last couple of months. It’s not only because of Chuck. Rather, it’s because, in a race of flip-floppers and inexperienced platitude-dispensers, Mike Huckabee is the sole consistent and competent candidate, and is unwilling to reverse his beliefs in the name of political expediency.

Furthermore, he is also one of the most experienced candidates. Not only did he serve 11 years as governor of Arkansas, but Time Magazine also ranked him as one of “America’s 5 Best Governors” in 2005. Under his leadership, he helped Arkansas’ abysmal education system—which ranked close to last in the nation on standardized tests—catch up to national averages through a policy of increased accountability. He did this by establishing the Arkansas Comprehensive Testing, Assessment and Accountability Program Schools, which is “widely regarded as one of the nation’s best school accountability programs,” according to the National Governors Association.

Huckabee also instituted a preventative care-oriented health policy and pioneered a program under which state employees in Arkansas are given specialized health screenings and receive health care premium discounts as rewards for healthy behavior. For a country desperate to improve No Child Left Behind and healthcare, no candidate has a better resume.

Like his effective programs in Arkansas, his core values have remained constant since the day he began his life in public office. At Harvard, the problem with Huckabee seems to be some of those core values. Many Harvard students wonder, isn’t Huckabee that Evangelical Christian who doesn’t believe in evolution? Such superficial attacks, though perhaps outwardly persuasive, are weak.

A candidate’s personal religious beliefs should not matter for the presidency. It is this same logic that other candidates with secular, individualist attitudes use to defend abortion, yet when it comes to Mike Huckabee’s candidacy, students seem to find relevance in every detail of his theological predisposition. In other words, what does evolution have to do with being a competent public official and head of state? This is especially true since he has no objection to evolution being taught in schools. It is thus disingenuous to oppose Huckabee on the grounds of his Evangelical Christian beliefs, and then claim that Mitt Romney’s Mormonism should have no bearing on the race, as many Harvard students seem to do. In the end, we all know the real answer is that there is no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Admittedly, Huckabee is a bit more open about and influenced by his religion than other candidates. However, Harvard students should still take the time to critically evaluate just what kind of policies Huckabee’s religion has led him to espouse.

Upon closer inspection, students are likely to find a remarkable congruence with their own views: stewardship of the environment, a “humble” foreign policy, humane and fair immigration laws, and respect for the sanctity of life—whether it be life threatened by political unrest in Kenya or by inhumane practices of partial-birth abortion at home. Similarly, Huckabee’s Fair Tax proposal appeals to both populist-minded liberals and spending-hawk conservatives.

Much of the glitz and glamour of the campaign has focused on the dual historical firsts of viable female and minority candidates in the race. However, if a white, male, Southern governor sounds too vanilla and too similar to some of our recent presidents, consider Huckabee’s personal story. It is one of the most compelling in the race.

In 2003, Huckabee, who had long fought problems with obesity, was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. Determined to take charge of his health, he shed 110 pounds over the course of the next two years. This effort culminated in his completion of four marathons. USA Track & Field, the national governing body for competitive track, even named Huckabee their “Athlete of the Week” in March 2005. What better model for a country fighting an obesity epidemic than a head of state who has conquered the problem himself?

If all that is not convincing enough, Mike Huckabee also has the best shot at unifying a nation long divided in bitter partisanship. He is easygoing but supremely able, tells it like it is, and plays bass guitar in his own rock band—he has even opened for Willie Nelson. More significantly, he brings competency, consistency, and clarity of platform to a race lacking these qualities. Chuck Norris recognizes Mike Huckabee as the best candidate in the 2008 election. Don’t make the mistake of disagreeing with the man whom even the Boogeyman fears.

Andrew L. Schlafly ’10 is a Mathematics concentrator in Currier House and chair of Harvard Students for Mike Huckabee.