A Fall Birding Guide to Harvard’s Newest Nestlings

The autumn breeze and crunch of falling leaves can mean only one thing: it’s the season for birdwatching...and of course, a new class of freshmen overtaking the yard. Take out your binoculars and see if you can spot all of the following supple young species, trying oh-so-hard not to look like members of the class of uh-leven.



1)Clumpus Getoutera:

Traveling in packs, this species moves from house to house in search of nourishment. Their primary activities include lurking in courtyards and asking where various buildings are located. Often led by one (hot) female member of their population, they lie in wait, listening for the nearest gathering or the sound of reggaeton.

Feeds on: Smirnoff Ice, Felipe’s, whatever’s in that Solo cup.

Where to find them: Outside the door of your party, Quincy courtyard, the shuttle.



2) Lanyardus Preparitus

Previously known as Redfolderus Maximus, this species emerges from its summer cocoon with a brand new wardrobe and another impressive line on their resume. Routinely, care packages arrive from their native habitat, allowing them to continually replenish their stores of energy.

Feeds on: Greenhouse Cafe, study break snacks, cookies from home.

Where to find them: Entryway meetings, every Core class, info-sessions.



3) Fopasaurus Rex

Upon one’s first encounter with this species, they may appear dirty and unhygienic, but this problem is frequently remedied within days of arrival in their new habitat. Traveling in packs, they sound the call of the inside joke, desperately trying to bring themselves back to a time when prerequisites were far less important than where they were going to poo next.

Feeds on: Granola, Odwalla drinks.



4) Punchmeplease Poppedcollarus

Immediately ready for the social scene, this species seems to know everyone, or at least everyone worth knowing. The more rare European variety can be differentiated from the common American one by their vintage Prada feathers. By the beginning of next year, the European members of the species will have made their final migration to the Spee Club.

Feeds on: Natty Ice, Sandrine’s.