Yo, Derek Bok!

University President Derek C. Bok recently soliticted student e-mails on calendar reform. Thanks to the crack members of FM’s IT department, we got a look inside Bok’s box:

Time: 6:36 a.m.
Subject: Re: Calendar Reform
Dear Headmaster Bok,

I trust that this letter finds you in good health, and that you have a desire to protect said health. If the school closes down for an entire five weeks in January, I will have to return to the orphanage of my childhood, where those filthy brats picked on me and I was forced to become a dark lord in retribution. I detest that orphanage and you’ll be dead sorry if you change the calendar.

Sincerely,
Tom M. Riddle


Time: 16:25
Subject: Re: Calendar Reform
Dear President Derek C. Bok,

I write in response to your recent communiqué regarding the current state of the academic calendar, in which you do a laudable job encapsulating the 2003-04 initiative by a faculty committee to coordinate the calendars of the several schools within Harvard University, making the apt observation that such an adjustment would “enable students and faculty members to cross Harvard’s internal borders with greater ease” (Bok 2007). But then you tie the synchronization of the educational terms of Harvard’s schools with the moving of fall term exams from after winter recess to before, when the two changes are not necessarily connected—the undergraduate calendar can just as well be applied to the graduate schools in order to carry out the above-mentioned harmonization.

Concerned,
Rella T. Vist

Works Cited
Bok, Derek C. Calreform@camail.harvard.edu. “Calendar Reform.” 2 May 2007. Blanket e-mail.


Time: 2:15 p.m.
Subject: Re: Re: SLAM Hunger Strikers Unite
hey de-rock, stay strong, those dbags will give out soon...bsides, the security guartds don’t even desrve what they are getting now, especially after that quincy incident. Am i right? am i rigght???!! i am alloiwed to say this because my uncle’s wife’s brother is in a security guard’s uonion and hes a lazy motherfucker.


Time: 2:16 p.m.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: SLAM Hunger Strikers Unite
I am drunk right now.