Monster of a Website

When you look at my Facebook profile you’ll see that I’m female, interested in men, and married – don’t worry Mom, we haven’t made it legal yet. You’ll also discern that I’m from Dallas (and judging by my groups, fiercely proud of it), my birthday is May 22, I’m politically “moderate,” and apparently have no religious views.

Some of you can see my cell-phone number in my contact information, and the personal section just has lyrics from Blue Oyster Cult’s “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper.” No, I’m not morbid – I just think the song is cool.

Blue Oyster Cult lyrics notwithstanding, I seem to possess a relatively normal facebook profile, as nearly all college students do. Being on Facebook, at least at Harvard, might as well be a requirement that goes along with Expos as a ritual everyone must endure. While there are the few and the proud amongst us who shun Facebook, they are an all too miniscule minority. We’ve become a cult of addictees to the point that the phrase “drunken wall-post” is now a lexical mainstay.

However, as I think about the ways in which Facebook has revolutionized the college experience, I can’t help but wonder if this toddler-aged creation is a modern-day version of Frankenstein’s monster. Mary Shelley’s cautionary tale about scientific experimentation gone awry may appear to be incompatible with Zuckerberg’s baby, but I’m realizing the real postmodern Prometheus is now a top-ten global website with repercussions far greater than drunken pokes.

Let’s state the obvious first criticism that comes to mind when one thinks of Facebook: It’s damn creepy. There’s a voyeuristic perversity that goes along with the Facebook territory that allows all of us to peer into the inner-goings of just about everybody (well, except people with those pesky restrictions).

For goodness sake, I check out the Facebook profile of the boy I like on a regular basis. I know he likes Bob Dylan, beach volleyball, and “Seinfeld,” but what good is all this information? Sure I could show up at his room (because it’s listed) in a Dylan t-shirt with a beach volleyball and “Seinfeld” DVD’s, but that would be borderline insane.

And perhaps this may be reaching, but I know I can’t be the only one who foresees Facebook as the downfall of many a political career. With pictures getting uploaded at astronomical rates, I’m noticing many of my peers partaking in various “activities” that could be perceived as unbecoming of any future politician. Web sites like Gawker and Wonkette already gleefully post photos of celebrity or politician offspring on a regular basis, so if you really want to make some quick easy bucks in your lifetime, go ahead and start saving scandalous photos of all the future politicians on this campus. Blackmail may be sleazy, but it sure can make you rich.

But a more serious accusation towards Facebook goes to the content. About two weeks ago a controversy emerged at the University of Southern California concerning a facebook group created by a junior linebacker on their football team. The group was “White Nation” and it featured a picture of a black child in handcuffs with the caption, “Arrest black babies before they become criminals.”

Far be it for me to launch into a monologue about the current state of football and education, but this episode illustrates the perils of Facebook. The team members who thought of the Facebook group have apologized and now claim that it was a misunderstood joke. While I don’t think these guys understand the meaning of “joke” (I’m sure my future significant other could offer legitimate forms of jokes from “Seinfeld”), their one moment lapse of judgment has now been memorialized by the global spatiality of Facebook. In short, it’s a rather tragic depiction of what happens when Facebook gets out of control.

Perhaps Zuckerberg and company have recognized the true (albeit addictive) monstrosity they unleashed upon college campuses and beyond, and tried to remedy the problem by instating these so-called restrictions. With a click of a button I am in full control of who can see my photos, wall, even my whole profile.

Even the relevancy of Facebook seems to be waning. I generally find my time on the internet is not spent so much on Facebook. Maybe “mini-feed” really was the “jump the shark” moment for Facebook, and from here on out we’ll see it declining in importance and popularity – unless, of course, some other football teams decides that “White Nation” is a legitimate joke.

So until college students en masse decide to just say no to facebook, I’ll continue to advertise my love for Blue Oyster Cult and figure out how to bump into the love of my life (perhaps right after he finishes “Morality and Taboo”) and strike up a conversation about Bob Dylan, beach volleyball, or “Seinfeld.”



Jessica C. Coggins ’08 is a women, gender, and sexuality studies concentrator in Cabot House. Her column appears on alternate Thursdays.