The Perfect Score(s)

The Hasty Pudding Theatricals always put their Woman of the Year (WOY) through a number of daunting and humiliating tasks (see: Halle Berry, 2006). But nothing is more embarrassing than showing up to the event solo. So who should this year’s WOY, newly-single Scarlett Johansson, bring to the event? Fortunately for her, Harvard is chock-full of eligible bachelors ready to take on the challenge.

Nathan J. Dern ’07: The “Beauty and the Geek” star can handle the spotlight, and the show seems to have upped his confidence and ability to chat up the ladies. He’s the whole package: part rock musician, part comedian, part (hopefully victorious) reality TV star. According to a source at Ivygate.com, “He’s nerdy, but in that hipster way so all the girls would do him anyway.”

ScarJo Hook-Up odds: 4:1

Clifton G. Dawson Jr. ’07: Scarlett’s ex, Josh Hartnett, played on his high school’s football team. If she likes them athletic, perhaps she’ll want to score with Harvard’s star running-back. Plus, you know he’s a reliable guy because he sent us that CUE Evaluation reminder.

ScarJo Hook-Up odds: 8:1

Lena Chen ’09: Rumor has it that Scarlett was spotted kissing her female friend, designer Tara Subkoff. So would she be down to get with Harvard’s most infamous sex blogger (who is also an FM editor)? Probably not, but it’d make for a good blog post.

ScarJo Hook-Up odds: 20:1

Derek C. Bok: The outgoing interim president should make the most of his closing weeks here and perform his own rendition of a Lost In Translation-style romance. Scarlett has had close ties to co-stars Bill Murray and Woody Allen, so you know she likes older men.

ScarJo Hook-Up odds: 25:1 (Just slightly higher than their age ratio).