BIG SHOT BOB: Sponsors Can’t Touch Harvard

A sudden death overtime win is a storyline that practically writes itself. But amidst one of the most exciting wins for the Harvard men’s hockey team this year—a 2-1 overtime thriller over Boston University—I didn’t feel like I was at a college hockey game as I sat in the press box of the Agganis Arena across the river in Boston. And it wasn’t just that I felt like a big shot as I sat with reporters from major newspapers in the luxurious press box of a brand new arena.

Most of this feel came from details that actually bore no relation to the game. Instead, I couldn’t help but notice the numerous advertisements on the boards, sponsored giveaways, and attempts to keep the fans entertained during stoppages of play. So as I followed the back-and-forth of the game for three periods alongside the public relations blitz, I started to wonder: what would Harvard hockey be like if we went corporate? What would it be like for you, the fan?

This parallel universe would start with the venue name, of course. Bid farewell to the Bright Hockey Center, as its name changes to the “insert random bank here” Hockey Center.

But that pales in comparison to the ads around the rink, on the jumbotron, on the boards, and amazingly, even on the ice itself. At least this makes it easy to keep track of where all the big plays happened.

“I still can’t believe that guy got up after taking that shoulder check into the Lumber Liquidators sign,” you’d say. Doesn’t that have a nice ring to it?

In case the prospect of watching hockey actually bores you, the public relations team has been working hard to keep you interested. Instead of just watching the zamboni clean the ice for ten minutes, just imagine a few John Harvard mascots having a race. It might even shape up to be a fun betting game.

Why stop the entertainment there when the Crimson could shower its fans with free food, t-shirts, and other random memorabilia? The possibilities for this type of giveaway are honestly endless, and every year it seems like some team out there finds a way to make the giveaways into an even bigger spectacle. Why have a random drawing when those zamboni-dodging, speed skating John Harvards could hurl them from the ice with little sling-shots?

But keeping the crowd entertained consists of free prizes and games until the third period, when teams use their timeouts. How can you make those tense seconds any more exciting? The Kiss Cam.

It’s the reason why going on a first date to the old Boston Garden was never a smart plan. Seeing yourself on the jumbotron inside the outline of a heart is probably fun if you’re married, but what if you’re not?

Imagine bringing a date to cheer on the Crimson, and suddenly, you’re caught on the Kiss Cam and broadcast to the entire arena. What do you do? Go for the peck on the cheek or the open lips? Thankfully, the men of Harvard don’t have to face that split-second, potentially live-altering decision.

While imagining the Harvard hockey experience as a public relations fanfare corporate-sponsored to within an inch of its life makes would be pretty weird, it’s commonplace for many other schools, and I wonder if the fans lose anything from the experience. For fans who are passionate about hockey and know what subtleties to look for as they watch the game, putting ads around the rink won’t prevent them from enjoy the game. But the constant flow of ads, contests, and entertainment can still prevent fans from maintaining a connection with the game.

Ultimately, keeping that connection to the game is how to find the storylines that make any game exciting, and going across the river to the rink still has the feel of amateur competition in a university I’ve come to call home. Maybe I’ve spent too much time at the Bright, but it’s hard picturing its atmosphere in any other way. For now, I’m happy to walk around during a home game just looking at the championship banners and the photos from seasons past.

—Staff writer Robert T. Hamlin can be reached at rhamlin@fas.harvard.edu.