Harvard's Most Eligible

Rumor has it that TV show “The Bachelor” hopes to cast a Harvard alum as its rose-brandishing lead for the next season of trashy catfights and semi-clandestine makeout sessions. FM breaks down the top choices for the job.

1. BJ Novak ’01: like Conan O’Brien ’85 before him, this Harvard alum and Newton, Mass. native proves that smart people are funny too. On screen, he charms the ladies as Ryan Howard on the American version of The Office. It’s a no brainer—this Harvard Man would have the ladies fighting over him in no time.

2. David A. “DA” Wallach ’07: the man’s music was on Entourage. A recent grad and former FM columnist, Wallach and classmate Maxwell C. Drummey ’07 make up Chester French, a band gaining fame quickly, especially after the screen time they received while the credits rolled on an episode of Entourage.

3. Mark E. Zuckerberg, formerly of the Class of 2006: the mastermind behind Facebook.com would definitely win the ladies over with his wealth of personality. Seriously—one convo with this former Harvard geek, and visions of McMansions and manicures would tantalize the “ladies” of “The Bachelor.”

4. Nathan J. Dern ’07: the Beauties may not have appreciated him, but perhaps the the Bachelorettes will have a different view of his Ivy League education and predilection for self-referent Facebook groups. After his thrilling run on Beauty and the Geek, we vote to give this nerd a second shot at true reality TV love.

5. Theodore J. Kaczynski ’62: this guy won’t just mail it in: signed, sealed, delivered, he’s yours.