15 Ways to Stay in Shape Once the MAC Closes

1) Work up a sweat in Widener stacks. By studying. A lot.

2) Crank up the heat in dorm laundry rooms and form an underground hot yoga ring.

3) Practice for primal scream regularly; running in between popular class times will help with both fitness and crowd navigation skills.

4) Make use of all the dance space every House seems to have: jazzercise, jazzercise, jazzercise.

5) Start hooking up with someone in the Quad to walk five extra miles each day.

6) Start hooking up with someone in the Mountaineering Club so you get to use their sweet indoor climbing wall.

7) Find leg warmers on eBay and take up inline skating.

8) Use your House gym, and then burn calories on the walk to UHS after you get tetanus from the WWII-era free weights.

9) Meet two dates at the same restaurant at the same time; burn calories running and fretting. But mostly fretting.

10) Synchronized swimming in the Charles.

11) Steal booty from the Lamont security guard who looks like a pirate; run as he chases you with his hook.

12) Use dance-offs to resolve day-to-day conflicts. Invite spectators to join.

13) Do squats on John Harvard—fulfill a graduation requirement and appear in photo albums across Asia.

14) Convert dining tray conveyor belts into treadmills.

15) Host a condom water balloon fight. Supplies are available in your laundry room.