Psychology 1, "Introduction to Psychology"

So you just got into Harvard, you’re not sure what the hell you plan to do here, much less in life, and you’ve just been given a 10-pound Courses of Instruction to sift through. What the hell do you do?

Well, the mature, intelligent thing to do would be to knock off some of those core requirements while you get your bearings. But mature, intelligent decision are for the weak! Be daring, impulsive, self-indulgent. Take something you don’t particularly need, but will probably be interesting as hell.

Your Destination: Psych 1.

You’re not going to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor, or anything else directly related to the course. But at the cost of four hours a week, but you can share in their pessimism about existence after delving into the field that deconstructs all of life’s “little wonders” into splashes of hormones and malfunctioning cognitive processes!

Regrettably, you didn’t enroll in this course two years ago when psychologist/author/performance artist/uberstar Daniel T. Gilbert was its instructor. And while Gilbert was known for giving out multiple-choice tests (HA!) that seemed to be part of a large, as yet undisclosed experiment into the induction of anxiety and regret in 18-22 year olds (not so HA!), Jeremy Wolff will request that your mastery of the material be shown on an overdone, quasi-humorous written exam. This is quite the deviation from your original plan of getting an easy A-, course credit, and the ability to mindfuck loved ones into submission.

But no sir, psychology is not all about learning how to get your roomie to pick up his damn socks and lulling the quasi-hot girl in section into your not-so-much-loving-as-psychologically-manipulative arms. You’re going to learn some neuroanatomy, a little developmental psychology, and some Siggy “I’m Largely Irrelevant, But Will Be On The Test” Freud.

At least you’ll feel better about bombing that Chinese midterm when you hear that the brain gets cranky about the whole “new language thing” after you’re 12 years old. So you fought the bounds of your species and lost? Whatevs. Now that you’ve taken this course, you can psychologically lull your Chinese TF into upping your grade. That’s what the course is all about anyway, right?