DEAR MOLLY: Missed Call

Dear Molly,

Why would a guy take my number if he never planned on calling me? Or worse, why would he give me his number if he never planned on returning my call? Rejection is easier without getting my hopes up that something is going to work out… don’t guys get that?

—Pfrustrated in Pfoho

Dear Pfrustrated~

There are three possible reasons:

1) He meant to call but lost your number (insert some other lame excuse here). 2) Unclear. 3) You and he had fun, but he did not see it as something he cared to pursue in the future.

Yes, number three is harsh, but that is because it is probably the truth and the truth hurts. Honestly, you probably already knew this and just needed someone else to say it. As Eric Matthews from “Boy Meets World” once told his brother Corey, “Life’s tough. Get a helmet.”

Am I really encouraging you to go out and wear a helmet everywhere a la Natalie Portman in “Garden State?” No. It is really not the ideal accessory for your “I’m done with finals!” bar-hopping outfit. Seriously. Don’t do it.

Whether it was merely meeting at senior bar where you each bought your own drink, or if things progressed further after you left, do you actually want to be with someone who does not care enough about your feelings to call you?

The answer should be “no,” in case you were confused as to where that was going. Sure he was cute and charming that night, but if someone cannot have the decency to pick up the phone and call you, you really need to just get over him. Quickly.

In this age of email, AIM and facebook poking, reaching out and touching someone via telephone has almost become obsolete. Some people are just really intimidated about calling someone on the phone these days. Not that it is an excuse in this situation. But maybe if the pseudo-anonymity of AIM and email communication didn’t dominate, real-time, in-person communication wouldn’t be so difficult

He may have simply been being nice. If you two shared a long conversation where you both seemed interested in one another, just saying goodbye without any possibility of a further encounter would have most likely come off as impolite. He may have taken your number and really thought that he would call. Or he just knew that he could not say goodbye and leave it at that. Either way, while your digits were being entered into his phone, were you not flattered?

That is what you should take away from this whole debacle: you should feel flattered and know that, even though this did not pan out, there will inevitably be more heart-racing, digit-exchanging moments in your future. You are not the first person this has happened to, and you won’t be the last. In fact, you will probably have your number taken many more times before you find the “one.”

Do not worry about this. You did not do anything wrong, even if someone has tried to tell you that he won’t call because, “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” Just take it for what it was: a fun night. Chances are, he’s already moved on… so should you.

Been there, done that, bought

the t-shirt,

Molly



—Dear Molly runs on Mondays. Please send questions to DearMolly@thecrimson.com. Questions will be published anonymously.