15 Lamont Pick-up Lines

You’ve been spending so much time in Lamont that you’ve made a nest in the Farnsworth Room, and your fellow ’round-the-clockers are looking pretty hott right now. But how do you break the ice with your bookworm beauty? Fifteen Minutes has a few suggestions to help you go Lamonster on that hottie. . .



1) I hear Lamont is the new Widener stacks.

2) You’re reading Habermas? I’d love to colonize your private spheres.

3) We should probably find the nearest exit; there’s a fire in my pants.

4) I have a very high GPA: “Gettin’ Punani Average.”

5) I’ve put my heart on Reserve...for you.

6) I’m hopped up on Adderall, but I’d like to hop up on you.

7) You’ve got a nice tan, for someone who’s been indoors for nine days straight.

8) Shakespeare, eh? Before they met me, they were just the Content Wives of Windsor.

9) You know, when you leave the library, the guard will ask why you’ve stolen my heart.

10) I’m checking you out, can I get your call number?

11) You’re studying for Life Sciences? Want to learn where babies come from?

12) I’m sorry, this room is for quiet study only, and your body is calling out to me.

13) Would you go in for a threesome with me and the security guard who looks like a pirate?

14) I can recite “The Waste Land.” Naked.

15) Is this the reference desk? Great, because I need help finding some books.*

*Not an actual pick-up line.