Let My Client Go

What do O.J. Simpson and Pharaoh of the Old Testament have in common? As of last Monday, both have benefited from the legal counsel of Alan Dershowitz. The Frankfurter Professor of Law showed off his debating chops by defending the notorious anti-Semite before an anything-but-impartial jury in a mock trial staged at Harvard Hillel.

In a partially scripted exchange peppered with Old Testament allusions and political wisecracks, Dershowitz stood his ground against prosecuting attorney Austryn Professor of Jewish Studies Jay Harris, who accused Pharaoh of committing crimes against humanity. Dershowitz retorted that Pharoah could not be convicted because he lacked free will, citing the famous Biblical line that “God hardened Pharaoh’s heart.” The quip drew laughter and playful boos from the near-capacity crowd, all of whom seemed to get the joke immediately.

Dershowitz countered by calling Moses a “terrorist” who tried to achieve his political ends through biological warfare, and tried to redeem the ruler’s reputation.

“Pharaoh has been victimized by a small Jewish lobby,” Dershowitz said, later adding, “He did try to kill Jewish people, but no harm, no foul.”

The kosher-for-Passover crowd might have been biased against the defendant, but they loved Dershowitz’s rhetorical acrobatics.

“Harris had wonderful arguments, but Dershowitz stole the show,” said Hillary W. Steinbrook ’07, who came to the event to hear Dershowitz speak.

“I’m just the straight man, he’s the star,” Harris conceded.

Despite Dershowitz’s best efforts, however, he couldn’t get his client entirely off the hook.

“Were it not for the crimes of Pharaoh and were it not for the crimes of Moses, we wouldn’t be here today,” said Bernard Steinberg, executive director of Harvard Hillel and acting judge and moderator for the evening. “Therefore let history render the judgment—I leave it up to you.”

As he strolled past kosher potato chips and out of Beren Hall, Dershowitz couldn’t help but claim the last word. “We’re going to appeal,” he said, holding up his fist in mock defiance.