Etiquette School? How Charming!

If University President Lawrence H. Summers had visited his alma mater Friday, he might have picked up some pointers from the annual Charm School at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT). The institution may be famous for multiplying stem cells and refining fish censors, but when it comes to charm, MIT has some answers too: bowties are a “simple topology problem” and networking is really “social calculus.”

Students, including several from Harvard, and faculty gathered on two floors of the Stratton Student Center, where 23 classes were offered on topics ranging from dating etiquette, small talk, and table manners on the last day of MIT’s Independent Activities Period (IAP). IAP, a form of January Term, is a month-long opportunity to explore academic and non-academic alternatives.

Participants accumulated credits in exchange for a Bachelor’s, Master’s, or a Ph.D. in Charm. Unlike MIT’s usual selectivity, Charm School boasts an admission rate of 100 percent to interested participants with free tuition to boot.

THE CHARM OF IT ALL

Charm School is the brainchild of the former dean of undergraduate affairs, Travis R. Merritt, who passed away last fall. “He saw it as a need that all college students could use etiquette lessons,” said Charm School co-coordinator Linda D. Noel, who is assistant director for student activities.

Described by Noel and co-coordinator Thomas E. Robinson as “low pressure,” Charm School draws annual crowds of 300 to 500 students.

Noel added that although Charm School is unique to MIT, it is not indicative of MIT’s lack of charm. Rather, there is broad interest across the country in charm education, she said.

“We really are working against the stereotype that MIT students are inadequate in charms and etiquette,” she said.

CHARM-CHASING

This year’s crop of charm-seekers included curious freshmen, seniors partaking in their final moments of MIT tradition, graduate students seeking to brush up on social skills, a handful of Harvard students, and even MIT’s Beaver mascot Tim.

“I had a free afternoon and it looked like an interesting opportunity,” said Alexander Pickett ’09.

Heeding to the informal nature of the classes, Charm School attendees ambled through ballroom dancing and flirting classes while clutching bundles of handouts and washing down mini-cheesecakes with lemonade.

“I thought it would be a good laugh,” said Joshua J. Feast, a graduate student.

But Dun “Shield” Xiao, a junior, had a definite purpose. “This is on my list of 101 things to do before I graduate from MIT,” he said. “It’s number 68, I believe.”

Xiao admitted he was initially skeptical. “I thought it was going to be fake, but it’s very useful,” he said.

Wearing a nametag that read “Sex Lady,” Laura A. Stuart, a health educator at MIT Medical, polled the class on questions like “Is it okay for a girl to ask a guy out?” (majority opinion was “yes”) and “Is it okay to ask someone out over e-mail?” (slightly more than half answered “no”).

“My whole job at MIT is to help you guys be happy and get laid,” Stuart said, drawing several chuckles from the crowd.


THE CHARMERS

Some Charm School faculty based their curriculum on their own experience. Julie Sussman, an MIT alum, said she has had to overcome her own shyness and wanted to help others in “Overcoming Shyness.”

Sussman pulled out conversational pieces, including an MIT button that read “Nerd Pride” and her business card, which identified her as a “Professional P.P.A.—Professional Pain in the Ass.”

Brian Klatt, who is manager of performance assurance at the Center for Space Research, said he accumulated his charm with age. “As old as I am, you learn it by osmosis,” he said.

Despite his years, Klatt, who taught “How to Accessorize/Dress for Success” for five years, is still au courant with modern trends. “I think hoops are attractive,” he said, after a female student asked about the appropriateness of hoop earrings.

Klatt said he thought Charm School was important, especially for foreign students and those who have been too narrow-minded in their endeavors.

“I find an awful lot of people are nerds who have put all of their time into academic pursuits rather than social graces,” he said.

MIT students could also use some table manner tips, according to Nick Angelicola, banquet events manager at MIT Faculty Club.

“As far as the pleases and thank yous, they’re okay,” Angelicola, who taught “Table Manners,” said. “But in fine dining, they could use some help—a lot.”


MASTERS OF CHARM

For the most part, students enjoyed their day at Charm School.

“I definitely thought a lot of workshops were very effective…even though time hasn’t been as long as it could,” said sophomore Zandile T. Williams.

The experience was a wake-up call for Nicole S. Ovadia, a graduate student. “You’re learning everything you’re doing wrong,” she said.

Dara F. Goodman ’07 enjoyed most of her classes, except for one. “I didn’t like ‘Flirting 101,’” she said. “I thought it was a. really hetero-normative, and b. just not helpful.”

“Dean of Charm” Barbara A. Baker, who is associate dean for Student Life Programs, praised the overall message of Charm School. “For me what is important about anything like this is having folks think about how they impact others and learn some responsible ways of interacting with each other,” she said.


CHARM HERE, CHARM THERE

Robinson, who is also assistant director for student activities, said that today’s MIT students are “an average group in terms of etiquette” but that “14 years ago [Charm School] was a necessity.”

But students said that there are the occasional social slip-ups.

“There are quite a few that [need Charm School], but not everyone is socially inept,” Tammy M. Tasoff ’09 said.

“I met the worst dancer I’ve ever seen,” Pickett said.

In the realm of social etiquette, Harvard doesn’t fare much better than MIT, “Bow Tie Tying and Suspender Selection” instructor William J. Hecht said.

“They need as much couth up there as we do,” said Hecht, retired executive vice president of MIT’s alumni association. “Their manners have slipped, I can tell.”

Though Harvard may not have a structured forum like MIT’s Charm School, Goodman said she has picked up social skills through mediums such as the Women’s Leadership Conference and Office of Career Services events. “I think that we do have our own charm school except it’s not done in nearly such a laid-back or fun manner,” Goodman said. “People take it way more seriously [at Harvard].”

But MIT remains unconvinced that Harvard students possess charm.

“I think Harvard could use some humility,” Williams said.

Hecht even extended an invitation to MIT’s Cantabridgian neighbor. “For a big fee, we can go up there and teach it for you,” he said.

—Staff writer Lulu Zhou can be reached at luluzhou@fas.harvard.edu.