Oh, What a 'Knight,' as Gere Nets Pudding Pot

After delivering a child on stage and tap-dancing to win the heart of a dragon, actor Richard Gere announced his intention to become President of Harvard University at the 2006 Man of the Year ceremony last night.

“I could become a permanent resident / I could become your next President,” he sang, to the tune of “Razzle Dazzle”—a number he performed in his Golden Globe-winning turn as lawyer Billy Flynn in the movie musical, “Chicago.”

He broke from the melody to yell, “I accept!” before returning to it to sing, “Richard Gere saves the day!”

The new lyrics, written by members of the Hasty Pudding Theatricals (HPT) and handed to Gere just seconds before he had to sing, were just one part of an evening of ribbing and ribaldry to honor Gere, their 43rd Man of the Year.



DASHING TO THE EXIT

At the beginning of the evening, the 56-year-old Gere was tentative about the festivities.

For the first time, the event was held at Cambridge’s Zero Arrow Street Theatre. The ceremony usually takes place at the Hasty Pudding Theatre, which is currently under renovations.

After the star was escorted into the theatre to the strains of Roy Orbison’s 1964 hit, “Oh, Pretty Woman”—an homage to Gere’s 1990 film, “Pretty Woman”—HPT producers Mary Kate A. Burke ’06 and Ashley A. Zalta ’07 began the traditional “roast” of the Man of the Year.

“Our recipient this year is an accomplished, well-seasoned, distinguished, and mature actor,” Burke said.

“I get it—he could be my dad!” Zalta replied.

Gere, sitting in the audience, stood up and began to walk towards the exit.

“You like it,” Zalta said to Gere, as he returned to his seat, laughing. “It’s funny,” Zalta continued, “because he could actually be my dad two times over.”

When the actor was finally called to the stage a few minutes later, his first words to his hosts were “You hurt me,” to which Zalta once again replied, “You like it.”

Zalta and Burke then drew attention to Gere’s work with aid organization Tibet House and “the creatively-titled” Gere Foundation, a human rights group he founded.

“Wait a minute, Ashley,” Burke interjected, “What kind of humanitarian would subject people to ‘The Mothman Prophecies?’” referring to Gere’s 2002 supernatural thriller, which received lukewarm reviews.

Gere was then ordered to briefly explain the plot of the aforementioned film, but without using the words “Mothman” or “prophecies.”

“I can’t even remember the movie!” Gere responded, laughing.

However, once Burke urged the women in the audience to “give it up” for Gere, HPT members threw exotic underwear onto the stage, and the star seemed to relax a little.

“Tom Jones gets 105,” he commented while picking up a shiny brassiere, “I got seven.”



SHALL WE DANCE?

The rest of the roast featured Gere being put in compromising situations with various members of HPT’s 158th production, “Some Like It Yacht,” which opened later that night.

After the hosts drew attention to the fact that Gere’s legal middle name is Tiffany, Josh M. Brener ’07 entered the stage as a giant poodle named Tiffany, and insulted him.

In recognition of his role as a gynecologist in the film “Dr. T and the Women,” Gere was asked to deliver a baby from a cast member wheeled onstage on a table and covered in a sheet. Gere slowly approached the table when another cast member, dressed as an infant, walked on stage and Gere was congratulated on a job well done.

The infant then demanded that Gere use his skills as a defense attorney, shown in the films “Primal Fear” and “Chicago,” to defend the fact that he “made the same movie twice” by starring opposite Julia Roberts in both “Pretty Woman” and “Runaway Bride.”

“It made more money the second time,” Gear responded.

Gere was ordered to demonstrate his prowess as a knight, a nod to his film “First Knight,” by “slaying the heart” of a large dragon, played by a cast member.

To do so, he had to complete a number of tasks, including the performance of a “ribbon routine”—done with a stick attached to some streamers—to Meat Loaf’s hit, “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That),” tap-dancing in glitter-covered high-heels, and tangoing with “2006 Woman of the Year, Halle Berry”—in reality, a drag-wearing Peter A. Dodd ’06.

Dodd is Vice-President of HPT.

“This is a nightmare,” Gere remarked during the sequence.

After a mock spelling bee, a dating game with three HPT members dressed as “Wellesley girls,” and the performance of the modified “Razzle Dazzle,” Gere was finally given a bra and presented with the Pudding Pot, as per tradition.

As the applause died down, Gere held the pot and took a serious tone.

“We’re really all bozos on the bus,” he said. “And especially in this world, and in this country right now, where the biggest bozo on the bus is actually driving the bus, maybe if we can find some genuine humor in this and then find a way to work together to change the situation as it is, then it would certainly make me happy.”



FAMOUS LAST WORDS

At a press conference held after the festivities, Gere fielded questions about Hollywood and Harvard.

He praised the film “Brokeback Mountain” when asked about his Oscar picks, saying that Heath Ledger’s acting in the film was “invisible,” and when asked who his own Man of the Year would be, he responded that it would be “someone like Bill Gates,” due to Gates’ philanthropic work.

On last week’s announcement that University President Lawrence H. Summers intended to resign, Gere had little to say. “I don’t know too much about this deal,” he responded, “In fact, I was asking everyone about what happened here, without knowing the details.”

When asked to rank the Pudding Pot on the list of awards he’s received, Gere drew laughs from the audience.

“[Getting cast in a school play as] Santa Claus in the second grade was here,” he commented, placing his hand low above the table. “Winning a gymnastics sectional medal was up here,” he said, moving his hand up a level. “Trumpet competition was somewhere here. Golden Globes was somewhere here. David di Donatello award in Italy was somewhere here. And then there’s a huge gap to the Harvard Pudding. I can’t even reach.”

—Staff writer Abe J. Riesman can be reached at riesman@fas.harvard.edu.