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Despite my unbounded love for it, I have to admit that “Project Runway”—the fashion-oriented competition show whose third season aired on Bravo this summer and fall—doesn’t really lend itself to a “Greatest Moments” list. But the show did boast a few one-time occurrences so generally wonderful as to deserve note, and for this reason I humbly submit the following list:
5. Michael Kors’s mother. My initial reaction to Ms. Kors’s appearance, in the middle of an episode where each contestant designed an outfit for another’s mother, was one of surprise. After all, something about the fashion world had always made me believe that designers like Kors emerged from some “Brave New World”-esque spawning place, where they were genetically engineered to live off lettuce and cigarettes and react violently to the use of the word “pant” in its plural form. Yet seeing Joan Kors standing right next to her son seemed like irrefutable proof of the fact that such creatures are, indeed, of woman born—until, that is, the extreme resemblance in looks and dress between the two led me to entertain a new theory of reproduction among the fashionable: cloning.
4. Tim Gunn tagging along on the Paris trip. Nothing can match the general adorableness of Project Runway mentor Tim Gunn unexpectedly dragging a little rolling suitcase onto the contestants’ plane to Paris and his subsequent self-ironizing declaration of his intention to “carry himself on.” As Jeffrey noted at the time, “I don’t know what I’ll do without Tim Gunn popping up in my life.” Nor do I, Jeffrey, but that hasn’t changed the fact that he has yet to emerge. Perhaps a flight to Paris is in the works.
3. Devil with a yellow dress. Contrary to what you might have come to expect from this list, this item is actually completely unironic and unfunny. No, really. Don’t wait for the joke, because it’s not coming. I just really loved the couture gown that bad boy contestant Jeffrey made out of yellow cotton plaid in Paris.
2. Street Safari. Though it’s normal for collections to have irredeemably stupid names, the flip side of appellations like “Street Safari” is that the clothes presented usually relate to such themes tangentially if at all. Yet Michael’s display in the final episode proved that—even if he did end up being the loser at Olympus fashion week—he definitely wins the “most unnecessarily literalist” award. His “Street Safari” collection actually featured standard safari gear, like cargo pants and jumpsuits, in neon “street” colors. Besides the general ugliness of the clothes, the collection blatantly ignored the fact that almost all the settings that could reasonably allow the wearing of safari items—going on safaris, for instance—also make the wearing of bright colors unwise. Some fashionista on a trip to Africa to adopt an underprivileged baby is going to get charged by a rhino sooner or later, and it’s going to be all Michael’s fault.
1. “Those are terrible penalties.” In the penultimate episode of Season Three, Tim Gunn visited each of the contestants at home to talk about their backgrounds and aspirations. In his interview with Uli in Miami—already rendered hilarious by the fact that he was wearing a button-down shirt, suit pants, and dress shoes to walk along the beach—Gunn noted that she had grown up in East Germany and asked about her experiences there. Uli answered that one could be put in prison or even shot with little reason, to which Gunn immediately responded with a thoughtful and heartfelt declaration that “those are terrible penalties.” They are indeed, Tim, but even the daily hardship of living under a totalitarian government can’t compare to the suffering occasioned by the (hopefully) temporary absence of such a truly quality show from Wednesday-night programming. Come back soon, Project Runway. Please?
—Marianne F. Kaletzky ’08 is outgoing Comp Director and incoming Arts Co-Chair. She concentrates in English, but really focuses on fashion.
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