Christian Loving

Harvard students are celebrated for their mathematical aptitude, their dexterity with the English language, and their political savvy. While most of us have dominated in the classroom, this does not necessarily translate to the bedroom. So it wasn’t surprising that students sat up and took note when posters advertising an event entitled “How to be a Great Lover” began showing up all over campus. Most intriguing of all? It was to be sponsored by the Harvard-Radcliffe Christian Fellowship.

Dozens of friendly faces gathered in Sever on a chilly Friday evening to glean useful information for their romantic lives. Our sensei in this dojo of love was Dave Swaim, a Harvard Divinity School grad with a wife, three children, and pastorship at Highrock Covenant Church. While the lecture started on a scriptural note, Swaim eventually got a little more personal.

“My wife, she’s hot,” he said. “She is.”

It seemed that things were finally about to heat up. Swaim explained that male and female are called to love each other, in spite of our human sinfulness, for the sake of God. However, still no word on how exactly to love said significant other.

Swaim detailed some of his experiences as a marriage counselor, indicating that many couples approached him with sexual problems. Unintentionally echoing strains of R. Kelly’s “Sex in the Kitchen,” he said, “I found that their problem was not in the bedroom—it was in the kitchen! And in the dining room!”

Citing a 1992 University of Chicago study that said the demographic enjoying sex the most was middle-aged Evangelical women, he added, “For some of you, this is your mom.”

Seeking to address the unmarried college students in the audience, Swaim began to give more practical dating advice and warned against breaking down the walls of intimacy too quickly.

“If you came out tonight to learn about how to be a great lover, well that’s another talk,” he said. A scan of the crowd revealed many a crestfallen face.

The talk ended with these words of advice: “It’s not about technique, it’s just being like Jesus.”

Easy!