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They might be just months away from a diploma, but most Harvard College seniors would fail finishing school.
And their grad school peers don’t know which way to pass the bread basket either.
But the Office of Career Services pointed them in the right direction Friday night, organizing a Professional Etiquette Dinner at the Sheraton Commander Hotel.
Deborah Thomas-Nininger lectured a group of 150 undergraduate and graduate students from a conference room stage as they struggled to keep their elbows off the table throughout a three-course meal.
Thomas-Nininger—whose business card names her profession as “Perception Management” and warns “Your Image Is Showing!”—said the bread basket is to be passed to the right, but not without first offering a roll to the diner to the left.
Thoroughly made up and coifed, Thomas-Nininger began the event with an enunciated disclaimer:
“A lot of what I say you may find unfair or downright petty.”
Having worked with an assortment of companies including Coca-Cola, Bank One, and Honda, as well as other universities, Thomas-Nininger said that she knows what employers are looking for.
“They keep on telling me that everyone is so brilliant that they don’t know who to hire,” she said. “So it comes down to a certain likeability factor and how polished they are.”
As the salad course arrived, Thomas-Nininger began a series of exhortations.
“Where the tie does not go is over the shoulder.”
“Here’s what people notice: if you eat more than two pieces of bread.”
“You don’t turn the spoon around and dive bomb into your mouth. And no crackers in your soup.”
“What about those cherry tomatoes? Do you cut them? No.”
Thomas-Nininger came to Harvard for the first time last year as a result of a raffle at a National Association of Colleges and Employers conference. Raffle contestant Nancy Saunders, a business counselor at the Office of Career Services won the services of the perception management guru, and the event was so successful that the OCS decided to continue it this year.
The OCS runs the event as a response to student demand, according to Associate Director of Career Services Robin Mount.
“I actually think that it’s this part of the process that stresses students the most,” said Mount.
“Students ask: ‘How do I make small talk with some head of a division at the World Bank or the president or CEO of a company? How do I answer questions that are being asked of me and still eat?’”
Students paid $15 to attend the event, which was partially sponsored by Citigroup. The fee would not cover the price of the food alone, which Mount estimated at $40 per person. However, the OCS waived the fee for those who were unable to pay.
“Students should know that anything at our office that ever had a fee, we always have resources to take anyone who wants to come. The reason we charge is that it is a Friday night—so that people don’t stand us up.”
Which would be poor etiquette.
Arif Lakhani ’07 said he wasn’t sure whether the event taught skills that could make or break a job prospect. But he takes the perception management expert at her word. “She knows better than I do,” he said. “I do know that employers take little things very seriously and only have 30 minutes to evaluate you.”
Caitlan L. McLoon ’07 responded favorably to the event. “I’m not doing recruiting, but every job requires you to have these kinds of skills.”
Kathryn C. Gluckman ’07, a self-proclaimed “etiquette nerd,” said that the event was useful beyond consulting or i-banking jobs, because students’s social lives often revolve around eating together.
“If you eat with someone who is gross, you remember.”
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