Of Queens and Queens...

Though Freddy Mercury, lead singer of the rock band Queen, pleaded operatically, “Can anybody find me somebody to love?” that other Queen from England is not quite so warm to romance. The royals grabbed headlines last month as Queen Elizabeth II announced that she would not be attending the again-delayed civil nuptials of her son, H.R.H Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles.

Though this snub has not sent crashing shockwaves across the Atlantic and into Boston Harbor, this seemingly archaic expression of parental approval of marriage, or matchmaking in the absence of parents, is not limited only to Balmoral. There are similar marital confusions and difficulties present in the United States.

Though we are no monarchy, America has its own sort of aristocracy, where the rich are encouraged to marry the rich. Many a Hollywood tale has told of the frowned-upon romance between the uptown girl and the downtown man. Besides bringing me back to my middle school dreams, watching Leonardo DiCaprio at the Oscars reminded me that Jack was not allowed to marry Rose—and that is inexorably the tragedy of Titanic.

Parental consent though, can be more legally powerful than Royal or aristocratic suggestion. In Massachusetts, minors under the age of 18 need a court order from either a probate court or district court to apply for a marriage license. In Mississippi, young lovers under the age of 21 must obtain written consent for a marriage, or the parents will be notified via certified mail. The question is: will the certified mail or the postcard from Vegas arrive first?

To prevent unwarranted postcards from Sin City, elders in the United States are constantly happy to play an unsolicited matchmaker to their children. My Grandma, for instance, frequently keeps me updated on the Nice Jewish Boy scene at Harvard. If one is in the market for more professional meddling, there are still Shadchen, Jewish ‘matchmakers’ who arrange marriages in more traditional Jewish communities.

However, not all arranged marriage is reminiscent of an old Yenta. The aged matchmaker who would travel around a town to match up young lovers has been replaced by complicated algorithms. We live in the technology age, and computers now affect everything from grocery shopping to research to…polygamous relationships? PolyMatchMaker.com promises plural dating, opportunities for those interested in polygamous relationships. For the more traditional sorts, matchmaker.com sets up two-person relationships, and promises that “by the time you meet, you know.”

Though a romance-seeking polygamist might seriously enter information into the PolyMatchMaker, Jonathan M. Hyman ’08 and Shaan K. Hathiramani ’08’s creation of Crimson Cupid—an online matchmaker service for Harvard Students—had less serious intentions. Hathiramani wrote, “The ultimate goal is to provide the students of Harvard with yet another rousing way to take a break from work and have some fun, and maybe even find the love of his or her life and make many, many babies.” Perhaps the QEII should enlist her royal webmasters to create MajestyMatch.com, allowing young Dukes and Duchesses to find approved romance.

It is not just the Prince who must deal with disapproving elders. Clearly the soon-to-be marrieds in the U.S. face similar qualms and dilemmas. Indeed, the situation may even be worse in the States. Though the English Queen won’t let her Prince marry so freely, we have a much larger (though similar) executive issue to address here at home: our American President won’t let queens marry either.

Aliza H. Aufrichtig ’08, a Crimson editorial comper, lives in Canaday Hall.