How to Lose

They say preparation and hard work determine 90 percent of success. Unfortunately, the best-laid plans of dancers and cheerleaders often

By Kristi L. Jobson

1. Accidentally kick a shoe off as you go into a split. If you’re really lucky, it’ll fly into the audience and hit someone.

2. Dance with an umbrella, and have it flip inside out.

3. Do a 175-degree Russian jump in the air. Not flexible enough.

4. Stop dancing and look confused when your music cuts out unexpectedly. No, there are no exceptions for technical errors.

5. Cover your boobs when your entire halter top falls down as you’re standing front and center. Instead, keep dancing as though nothing has happened. The audience and judges might like the booby show.

6. It’s hot, especially in a velvet costume. If you want to lose, go ahead and wipe the make-up dripping into your eyes.

7. Land a jump wrong, break your ankle, and drag yourself offstage with your hands as your team continues to perform.

8. Walk out onstage cheering and screaming before your team is actually introduced.

9. Get in the way of someone’s leaping leg, and stop when you realize your jaw is broken.