Harvard Fandom Is Just Pathetic

HAAAR-vard…

HAAAR-vard…

YOU SUCK!

Does that chant offend you?

Does it feel like a slap in the face?

Does it make you mad that, in your very own newspaper, someone is making fun of your school?

Chances are, you probably could care less what someone says about Harvard. In fact, in many ways, you probably even agree with the statement.

The proof of this is everywhere you go. Whether you’re strolling through the Yard, eating in your dining hall, or sitting in class, someone is probably loudly proclaiming that Harvard does indeed suck.

The preferred method of belittling the oldest academic institution in America? Clothing. That’s right. Everywhere on campus, there are students sporting hoodies and shirts from Princeton, UPenn, Stanford, and even—most despicably of all—Yale.

So what, you might say. Those people still obviously go to Harvard.

So what? SO WHAT? Are you kidding me? This extreme level of apathy towards rival schools seems to be unique to the Cantabridgian Crimson.

Don’t believe me? Let’s do a case study.

As with all good case studies, it’s best to control for confounding factors. So I decided to examine the views of identical twins on the subject. These twins, having grown up in the same house, same town, and same community, should have similar levels of apathy—even if one goes to Harvard and the other goes to Yale.

Here’s the question: What would you do if someone sitting next to you were wearing a Yale sweatshirt?

“Nothing,” says Ross Lipstein ’08. “I wouldn’t even notice.”

Apathy level: extremely high.

Now, what would Ross’s twin brother at Yale do if someone sitting next to him were wearing a Harvard sweatshirt?

“I would make some witty, clever, or snide remark to the best of my fun-making ability,” says Bulldog Greg Lipstein ’08.

Apathy level: medium.

Okay, there might not be a stark difference. But this is Harvard-Yale, not Michigan-Ohio State or Duke-UNC. What’s important, though, is that even among twins, the one that attends Harvard is more apathetic towards his rival school.

The worst thing about this indifference: Harvard sports fans are apathetic, too. Despite attending the college that boasts the most Division I teams of any school in the country, Harvard students, for the most part, could care less how their fellow athletes perform.

At the 2004 Harvard-Yale weekend, for example, there were more people at the tailgate than at the football game itself. Now, there’s nothing wrong with rocking a tailgate—but there’s something amiss if football doesn’t play a significant role in the day’s events, too.

And this was no ordinary Harvard football team. This was the squad that went a perfect 10-0 and had arguably the best season in the past 100 years of Crimson pigskin history.

Fast-forward a few months to this past Saturday, and the apathy continues to reign.

When Harvard women’s hockey defeated Mercyhurst 5-4 in a triple-overtime thriller, the official attendance figure was 1,013. That number represents barely a third of Bright Hockey Center’s capacity of 2,800 people.

And again, this was no run-of-the-mill matchup. This was a first-round NCAA tournament match featuring the nationally ranked Crimson—a team that had just won the ECAC championship.

There are times when this indifference seems to disappear. The Human H always makes his presence felt in the student section at men’s hockey games. The Ultimate Frisbee team sometimes brings a dancing Santa to women’s volleyball games. And even Big Larry himself makes an appearance at some sporting events.

Unfortunately, these few events are the exceptions to the rule. In general, the words “Harvard” and “fanaticism” just don’t go together. I was made painfully aware of this when a referee came up to me after a men’s volleyball game and told me that “You suck!” was not an appropriate comment at a sporting event.

Why are Harvard fans nice? Where are those crazy people that throw beer cups at athletes and get into fights with them? Why is it that, without the help of a pep band, most Crimson fans can’t even get a cheer of “Let’s go, Harvard” going?

You can’t simply blame it on an Ivy League mentality—as the twins case study showed, even Yalies are more spirited.

And you definitely can’t fault the Crimson for not winning—even in so-called “minor” sports. Harvard fencer Emily Cross just took the NCAA foil title, and her head coach, Peter Brand, was just awarded National Coach of the Year. The men’s volleyball team, under the guidance of first-year coach Chris Ridolfi, has clinched its division and won 13 straight.

So Harvard really doesn’t suck. But maybe Harvard fans do.

Crimson Crazies? Please—that’s an oxymoron.

—Staff writer Karan Lodha can be reached at klodha@fas.harvard.edu.