DEAR NIKKI: How To Get to Bed

Dear Nikki,

I feel like lately I’ve just been so busy with work, extracurricular activities, and friends that I haven’t focused on girls at all. What do you do if you’ve been “out of the game” for awhile and want to get back in it?

—Curious Chico



As you prepare for your role as a drunken spectator at The Game this weekend in New Haven, you might want to consider upping your own competitive spirit in The Game of your average college weekend. That is to say, to “get back into it.”

But your “Game” will sadly not be as simple as sitting on the sidelines cheering while the players make their moves.

Despite this, being a part of The Game is surely worth the risk and effort. And I can assure you that it won’t be too hard to get back onto the score board as long as you are willing to take the plunge.

Simply put, the answer to your question is: Go for it.

But I am going to take some time to mention a couple of Game-ending errors.

Egregious Error Number One: Presenting yourself as desperate. If it wasn’t apparent to you already, desperation is a turn-off. So, don’t make the “girl chase” your prime focus. Keep it cool. Keep it suave. Get off the bench, but don’t advertise it.

Egregious Error Number Two: Being unsure of yourself. Even if deep down you know that you’re not (quite) the biggest stud on campus, act like you are. Emanate confidence.

Egregious Error Number Three (and this ties directly into the above advice): Confusing confidence with ego. Don’t get too full of yourself. Girls do not like big heads.

If you stay in the clear of these “game-time sins,” you should be ready to roar. Get out there and meet people. Drink. Dance. Schmooze. Have fun.

Another important tip to keep in mind is that though you should probably have a sense of whether you are looking for a relationship or a hook-up, there should be minimal variance in your strategy. The best attack method—regardless of ultimate goal—should be to go out and have a good time while meeting some cool (and perhaps attractive) people. And be respectful.

Your rate of success will be high if your strategy does not revolve around either “bringing girl to bed” or “bringing girl to altar.” The more you focus on the actually process of getting to know someone, the more successful you will be in either snagging a fun night or a first date. Even if you’re looking for simply a “low-key connection” with a girl (a.k.a. only hooking up) you should at least give her some respect and attention. If you don’t connect (or at least try to), she will not be interested, I assure you.

Another integral policy (that I shouldn’t have to mention but will nonetheless): When going “out on the prowl,” make sure you put yourself together but also don’t look like you tried too hard. Both a lack of cleanliness (eek!) and too much mousse in your hair will make girls turn their heads.

Luckily for you, you can easily get back into The Game because­—whether we like it or not— the rules of romance are bendable. And be patient. As the shrewd Dolly Parton says, “if you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain.”



Lots o’ love,

Nikki



Dear Nikki,

I always feel exhausted. While I don’t usually get the eight hours they say are necessary, I still feel like I sleep as much as other people. How can some people get away with hardly sleeping and still function normally?

—Sleepy Student



As they say, it is quality—not quantity—that counts. While of course no one can get by on no sleep, learning to make the most of the hours you do get is an important skill in the world of research papers, extracurricular activity deadlines, and weekend debauchery.

First of all, when you have completed a night out on the town or if you have had a particularly inebriated week, going to bed without a) taking off your eye make-up, b) taking out your contact lenses, c) drinking (at least!) two cups of water, and d) brushing your teeth will ensure you a painful morning. Of course, if you are “crashing” in someone else’s room, some of these steps might be more difficult to execute than others. (And the groan in the morning may still come once you have to make the walk of shame across campus in your clothing from the night before). But you should still make sure to treat yourself well pre-snooze.

Even on a normal “school night,” putting yourself to sleep rather than collapsing is key. You should not allow yourself to pass out atop your ink-annotated History and Literature reading. (The huge blue line on your face the next morning will surely not be the best way to start your day.)

There should be a relaxation-filled lull between your work and your sleep. Even if it is just five minutes—make sure you take it. Get your mind off of your work before you drift off into dream land. Call a friend, make a cup of tea, do downward dog motions, or perform a belly dance for your roommates. It will most certainly pay off the next day. I promise.

Also, recognize what is best for you. As I know from personal experience, when you are living in a room with five other people it can be difficult to maintain a “regular sleeping schedule.” But this doesn’t mean it’s not possible. It may not be realistic to doze off at 10pm sharp, but if you want to catch some zzz’s on the early side, you should be able to. Make sure you are clear with your roommates about what you need and want—and they should respect that.



Sweet dreams,

Nikki—who prefers tea to coffee



—“Dear Nikki” runs on Mondays. Send letters to DearNikki@thecrimson.com. Letters will be published anonymously.