I Scream for Ice Cream

With the announcement earlier this year that Harvard’s endowment has reached the astronomical sum of $25.9 billion, I’m sure we’ve all been wondering: on what, exactly, has the University been spending its incredible wealth?

Dorm renovations? No; with the epidemic of floods, the bizarre heating fluctuations, roach infestations, and general run-down condition of the suites I’ve had occasion to visit, that can’t be the case. Perhaps hiring and training better teaching fellows? Clearly not—no explanation required. No, while any of these other worthwhile endeavors would seem a logical place to start utilizing such an abundant sum of money, I’ve figured out what’s really going on—they’re spending the money on ice cream.

I know you’ve noticed it—you walked up to the frozen yogurt machine, rainbow paper-covered cone in hand, only to find that the old standbys have been chucked out the window in favor of an impressive assortment of glamorous new flavors. Gone are the days of simple chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, or swirl, having been replaced by Colombo brand frozen yogurts with names like New York Cheesecake, German Chocolate Fudge, and Royal Raspberry. It’s a bourgeois ice cream fantasy.

Harvard University Dining Services (HUDS) really should be commended for making this truly meaningful enhancement to our dining experience. And besides adding a touch of class where they could have settled for mere generic frozen yogurt, they’ve also inadvertently created a fun new game for us to play.

Give this a try next time you’re in the dining hall: rather than rushing back to your room to write that Moral Reasoning paper, stop in front of the frozen yogurt machine, and make a note of the two flavors offered. Now, take a moment, and try to figure out exactly what kind of flavor arises from the resulting swirl.

Winthrop House has it right—with its combination of French Vanilla and Alpine Strawberry, the swirl yields a taste sensation of Strawberries and Crème, fresh from the French Alps! However, our new game also shows us that a few houses could use some serious work in their flavor-choosing skills. While placing Cappuccino alongside Orange Crème may not seem like a problem at the outset, the resulting swirl—which may fairly be dubbed Orange Crappuccino—is a less than appetizing experience.

Flavor-blending faux pas aside, it’s great to see HUDS responding to student outcry against generic products and general culinary malaise. Our new, jazzed up, and—most importantly—brand name frozen yogurt has likely brightened many a day across Harvard campus. Now if they’d just do something about those “Toastie O’s.”



Ashton R. Lattimore ’08, a Crimson editorial editor, is an English concentrator in Dunster House.