MCGINN AND JUICE: Harvard Athletics' Top Five Enemies

The end of the year in sports can mean just one thing—asinine and unoriginal top-five recap lists so subjective that they serve only to inflame the passions of those who disagree while doing nothing to add to constructive debate on otherwise intersting topics. Not my top-five list, though. How could any recap of the five archenemies of Harvard sports in this past academic year do that?

1. The anonymous member of the Cornell defensive unit who broke junior quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick’s hand

More than seven months removed, I’m still not quite sure which is the most aggravating aspect of this injury. There’s the fact that Fitzpatrick arguably should not have been on the field with the Crimson up by 27 points. There’s the fact that the small bone on his hand shouldn’t have been enough to cost Harvard a chance at the Ivy title. But most frustrating of all is the fact that I don’t know whose mother I keep making derogatory references to and cursing before I go to sleep each night.

2. Steve Lhotak

It was bad enough that Penn’s senior linebacker had to plant the tackle on Harvard tight end Matt Fratto to end the Crimson’s chances of an Ivy title at the six-yard line in the season’s penultimate game. That would have been enough for him to make this list.

But apparently winning with grace wasn’t a good fit for Lhotak. Sitting in the press conference after the game with his teammates, the Quakers’ captain—embodiment of all that Penn football stands for—felt the need to make a series of juvenile jabs at Harvard, Boston, New England and all other things better than his lower-tier Ivy just loud enough for everyone to hear. And they say Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love.

3. Scott Shirrell

The Harvard baseball team needed to take three of four from Dartmouth in the season’s final weekend to earn at least a playoff for the division title. With one in the bag, Trey Hendricks on the mound and a three-run lead heading into the ninth, a doubleheader sweep seemed all but certain. Moments later, Shirrell was rounding the bases after smacking the second of two three-run homers to put the Big Green up 13-10. Again, that would be bad enough.

Then there’s this interview from The Dartmouth.

The D: You just recently set the Dartmouth record for career hits. That’s awesome! When you’re not slamming home runs what position do you play?

Scott Shirrell: I’m a left fielder.

Fine, maybe I just don’t like the fact that he’s associated with that interview.

4. Penn’s Bench

With the women’s basketball team struggling following its first league loss in two years, a win against traditional second-fiddle Penn was a must just four games into the season. After shutting down the Quakers’ star Jewel Clark, the Crimson appeared to have the game in order, especially since none of Penn’s starters cracked double digits. But the Quakers subs played well beyond their talent, nailing clutch shot after clutch shot to shut down the Crimson comeback drive and winning 73-72, before one of their mothers tried to steal my game notes as a souvenir.

5. Harvard

An ambivalent campus and mediocre to average attendance. No support from the administration. I don’t think we’ve ever written about this before.

—Staff writer Timothy J. McGinn can be reached at mcginn@fas.harvard.edu.