McGINN 'N TONIC: Santa, Please Bring Back Harvard’s Football Coach

Dear Santa,

Thank you for last year’s presents. I know some tutors don’t think so, but I’ve been very good these past 12 months. And my editor says you read everything that I write, so I hope you think so, too.

I know you don’t do much in the way of managing athletic departments—you’re more of a toys man after all—but I want just one thing for Christmas this year. I know it may not be feasible, and you may have to call in a few favors, but if you can see to it that Tim Murphy remains the Harvard football coach next season, I’d be forever grateful.

You probably won’t have to do very much. In an interview on Tuesday, Murphy told The Crimson that he expects to be patrolling the Harvard sidelines again next season.

But if Indiana offers Murphy a contract similar to that inked by the Hoosiers’ former head man, Gerry DiNardo, he’d likely be adding hundreds of thousands of dollars to his salary. For a family man with a wife and three young children to provide for, offers of that sort aren’t easy to turn down, and Murphy has already done so more than once. The United States Naval Academy and the University of Delaware have both sought his services in the past, and his NFL-bound quarterback says there are others who’ve done so as well.

So, Santa, when you are devouring the scrumptious cookies I’m sure Director of Athletics Bob Scalise leaves fireside each Christmas Eve, please remind him that Ivy League titles and 10-0 seasons aren’t delivered by flying reindeer. They’re provided by a coaching staff whose only fixture over a given three-year period is likely its head coach. And any coach who has delivered three conference crowns in eight seasons is certainly worth keeping, even if it involves upping a few of the numbers on his paycheck.

Now I know it isn’t in keeping with the Christmas spirit, and may even be selfish of me, to try and guarantee that Harvard’s football team will be successful and not Indiana’s. After all, there are more Hoosier fans than Crimson Crazies.

But Santa, I’m not the only one who will be happy if Murphy stays. With captain Ryan Fitzpatrick graduating, either Liam O’Hagan or Chris Pizzotti—both untested freshmen—will take the helm of the Harvard offense. And who better than Murphy, under whose tutelage Fitzpatrick, Neil Rose ’02-’03 and others bloomed into bona fide gunslingers, to teach the next generation of Crimson quarterbacks? Neither they nor any of the offense’s returning starters want to look under their tree Christmas morning to find a playbook from anyone other than Murphy.

Don’t forget Murphy himself, though, Santa. His position at Harvard is a high-end gift in itself, or so Murphy said when he referred to his post as a “lifetime job” in November. And the Crimson’s key departures combined with the parity of the Ivy League will leave him with several new challenges come next season.

Indiana, on the other hand, is, simply put, a rather large lump of coal. While its status as a member of the Big Ten Conference and its promises of a higher salary might be seductive, winning at Indiana is, as DiNardo proved, all but impossible.

Santa, even you can’t bring wins against Michigan, Purdue, Wisconsin, Ohio State and others every year. Especially not with the Hoosiers’ underwhelming football legacy. As you know, basketball coaches head to Bloomington seeking immortality. Football coaches who migrate there commit career suicide.

Might Murphy be different? Sure. But with an athletic department millions of dollars in debt and unlikely to provide the resources necessary to compete against the national powerhouses he’d face on a weekly basis, it seems unlikely. Harvard may not be bowl-eligible or even playoff-eligible, but its program does, despite its faults, provide Murphy with a chance to win. Indiana simply doesn’t. What kind of a gift is that, Santa?

Merry Christmas,

Tim

P.S. I’d also like to see the football team go to the playoffs. I understand that you’re Santa, not God, but I’d love it if you could at least try.

—Staff writer Timothy J. McGinn can be reached at mcginn@fas.harvard.edu. His column appears on alternate Thursdays.