A Social Life.com

Students stranded in their dorms on Saturday can no longer lean on the age-old lament that “nothing ever happens at Harvard.” Throngs of first-years scouring the river Houses and final clubs can’t say they didn’t know better. Sophomores can’t say a packed common room in Quincy—playing beiruit against blockmates with warm, week old beer—was “the only option.”

Proving again that Harvard students need help to navigate the hostile waters of the Harvard social scene, this month, three entrepreneurial Harvard students launched HarvardParties.com—a website created “to serve and protect Harvard students’ right to party,” according to their mission statement. The site includes information about upcoming parties—generally large events with no guest lists, both on and off campus—offering Wellesley girls and Harvard Universtiy Police Department officers a quality checklist.

But the true value of the site is in its other amenities, including digital photographs from past festivities, which can be purchased online to prove to your state-school- attending high school friends that your social life exists.

Also on the website is a inventory of “partying formulas”—pointers on how to throw different varieties of parties at Harvard—including where to send drunken friends (Tommy’s, Noch’s and, if necessary, University Health Services) and advice on where to buy wristbands, apparently to limit underage drinking and fun.

A link on the site, entitled “ooh, last night…who was (s)he?”, connects students to the House facebooks for hung-over Sunday morning perusal—which can either give you another shot to finish the job next weekend, or another reason for your friends to make fun of your horrible taste.

But despite the offerings, the website does not delve into smaller, private gatherings—protecting unassuming Boggle players on the first floor of Cabot from keg-ready partiers pounding on their doors (probably hoping to spell words using the same die twice).

Now that the Harvard social scene is electronically catologued online, students can distribute themselves among the available venues like they do sections—avoiding gatherings that start too early and avoiding the Quad. But with this resource, if another lonely Friday night rolls around, students have no one to blame but their User Assistant.