Bribing for Attention

It takes a lot to get a Harvard student’s attention. From annoying Undergraduate Council hopefuls to cookie-laden tablers in the dining halls to the psych students willing to dish out $15 an hour for undergraduate subjects, those who want a little bit of our time have to resort to outright bribery. It might be frustrating, but council candidates who have to go door to door handing out cigars or IOP activists who hold dinner discussions that somehow attract a lot of hungry students are just doing what they have to do. People might not respond to some first-year’s platform on appointments to student-faculty committees, but everyone likes food and money.

Take last month’s council elections. I was unwinding from a stressful Thursday with some friends at half past midnight, when I heard two knocks. After reluctantly opening the door, I was shocked to witness a complete stranger force her way into my room, hand out fliers, and ramble on about her platform. I went to bed thoroughly annoyed with the candidate and resolved that she had just lost my vote. But if she had given me a tub of ice cream I might have been a little more understanding.

Ideally, we would go to Crimson open houses even if there were no free pizza. We would go because we were actually interested in comping. We might even have gone to the “Famine Banquet” held in Eliot House last month even if Bhumi hadn’t promised a catered dinner. But, beyond the realm of the ideal, there are things we can do to promote ourselves without appealing to our baser instincts.

One of the biggest problems is that there is no good central location for council candidates to advertise their campaigns or for clubs to attract interested members. Door-to-door campaigns in which candidates resort to handing out candy or occasional tabling in the dining hall are fine in moderation; voters meet the candidates—which was especially important in the last, 100-candidate-strong council election—and students find another extracurricular they want to devote their every waking hour to. But elections and club membership should be based on platforms and interest, not on who has the money to buy 400 bags of candy. We need to offer our students a better way to distinguish themselves—and I think most of us would prefer a handy website or a weekly e-mail.

The council should step in to provide us with such a website—where candidates and clubs alike can post platforms, photos and mission statements. The council should also put that information in its weekly e-mails, making them a lot more comprehensive and useful. It might take a while for it to catch on, but when candidates and club presidents know that they have a cheaper, less intrusive way to reach out, they might just put down their lollypops and spend more time saving the world.

—Loui Itoh is an editorial comper.