Football Superlatives

Best way to prevent Ari Confesor from returning punts:

Keep your punter off the field. The Crimson sent its offense out on fourth down twice in the first half, converting both attempts. In all, three of Harvard’s four first-half possessions ended in scores, meaning its first punt didn’t come until the third quarter.

Worst time for Harvard students to finally show school spirit:

With the Crimson in the huddle. On more than one of Harvard’s fourth-down conversion attempts, a large portion of the Harvard student section was standing up and cheering, despite Rose’s motion for quiet so that his teammates could hear the snap count.

Best way to run out the clock:

With your hand on the button. As the Crusaders chipped away at the Crimson’s lead late in the second half, a technical malfunction with the scoreboard caused the seconds to tick off the game clock even when play was stopped. “The clock won’t stop,” complained the clock officials to Harvard SID and press box steward John Veneziano. “What’s wrong with that?” Veneziano joked. (The clock was eventually fixed.)

Best way to mark your forward progress:

With your cleats. On a day when generous spots were few and far between for Harvard’s offense, Rodney Thomas made sure the officials knew exactly where one of his second-half carries started and stopped. Both of his shoes came flying off on the play, one in the backfield and one several yards downfield, where he was tackled.

Best way to get the ball in Carl Morris’ hands for a rushing play:

Directly. In the fourth quarter, Morris lined up under center on third-and-two and, after receiving the direct snap, scooted for nine yards. Earlier, Morris had taken a handoff from Rodney Byrnes on an end-around reverse, but was tackled for a loss.

Best way to return a kick for Holy Cross if you’re name isn’t Ari Confesor:

Block one. Andrew Simons, who stuffed Adam Kingston’s punt, was the only Crusader besides Confessor to record any return yardage whatsoever Saturday. Though Crusader David Kasouf lined up alongside Confesor on each and every kickoff, he appeared to be following explicit instructions to get out of the way and let Confesor take over as soon the kick headed skyward.