Let's Blow

Rolling plains and snow-capped peaks greet you as the Charles River dips into a bend that is Harvard Square, the crown jewel of extreme southern Vermont. Home to elite Lesley College (founded in 1492 by William “John” Harvard), Harvard Square boasts staggering diversity: men and women, students and non-students, domesticated animals and wild, feral dogs. Savvy travelers will walk back and forth, to and fro and from left to right as they savvily unearth the hidden secrets of Harvard Square’s historical history. Like every city, town and municipality we have ever covered, Harvard Square struggles to walk the tightrope between preserving its Old World charm and modernizing to modernization.

In addition, roadrunners, coyotes, wild pigs and over 350 species of fish nest in Harvard Square’s famed nature preserve.

ORIENTATION AND PRACTICAL INFORMATION

Streets run counterclockwise in a donut formation resembling a question mark. Streets are numbered from A to ZZX. Monorail (493-7190; platform accessible via shuttle M-F 9-5pm, Sa 9am-4am), at the intersection of John F. Kennedy St. and Mass. Ave. The shuttle to the platform is inside the Information Booth. Bang on the window and ask for the monorail. If the workers pretend they don’t know what you’re talking about, consider them insane and dangerous. The Pakistani consulate is located at Tommy’s House of Pizza. Bike rental, 34 Hamilton St. (493-3375; M-Sa 8-8:10am, Su 8-9:30pm), is probably the most practical of our practical information. Bank: Hasty Pudding Theatricals allows withdrawals of up to $90,000. Zip Code: 0238. Area Code: (0)36.

ACCOMMODATIONS AND FOOD

Charles Hotel, 1 Bennett St., is the cheapest, party-hardiest hostel around. The friendly, eccentric owner is willing to chat with any traveler, because he is a pedophile. Rock-climbing tours leave every day from the main desk at 9am. The premises are generally safe, but watch for the occasional pickpocket or questionably legitimate Third World head of state spending half of his or their annual budget to bring a giant entourage to the neighboring William “John F.” Kennedy School of Government. (864-1200; fax 864-5715; $25 for dorms, $35 for singles; prices may be negotiable). Vicky C. Hallett’s bedroom, Winthrop C-21, Mill St., has offered tidy bathrooms and sweet lovin’ to many, many weary male travelers. Bring your own padlock and toilet paper (493-7862; $5 per hr, additional “services” negotiable). For some tasty eats, the savvy eater will head to one of Harvard Square’s many restaurants. Particularly tasty is the Border Café, a restaurant that celebrates the rich cuisine of the U.S.-Canadian border. Try the savory Molson-battered smoked meat platter for $10 ($30 Canadian; 493-7788, open daily 1pm-midnight). If you want to blow your budget on one meal, head to The Wrap, Cambridge’s only internationally recognized four-star eatery. Particularly outstanding dishes include the Unevenly Distributed Scoops of Rice and Unidentifiable “Meat” in a Tortilla Which Is Hot in Some Places and Disturbingly Cold in Others ($4.95) as well as the Foie Gras/Nutella Combo ($100.95). The food is great, but you’re really paying for the ambiance (493-4613, open M-Su 8am-10pm).

ENTERTAINMENT AND NIGHTLIFE

The Crimson Sports Grille offers sticky floors, drunk athletes and the tricks that want them. It’s so awesome, it will probably never close (495-9666; M-Th noon-1am, F-Sa noon-2am). Casablanca is a trendy bar located below the Brattle Theatre and decorated with a mural from the classic Orson Welles film (493-6617, M-Sa 10am-1am). The Hong King is a den of sinful pleasures and dumplings. Try the legendary “Scorpion Soup” for an alcoholic treat (Th-Tu 493-7191, (617) 12pm-2am). Also, there’s an awesome party in Thayer House—with beer!

GAY AND LESBIAN

Hartford Square presents a number of options for the savvy gay or lesbian man or woman. Gay-owned, gay-managed establishments include the Fox, A.D. and Owl Clubs and especially the super-gay Fly Club. Video rooms and contact dancing available in the basements. For pounding house music and flamboyant gay grinding, head to Whitney’s (37 JFK St., 576-6565, M-Su 1pm-2am).