A Rose By Any Other E-mail Address...
According to the Social Security Administration, the most popular baby names for 2001 are Jacob (32,101) and Emily (24,850). William comes in at No. 10 with a solid 19,979. Things were different in the eighties, however. William was only 15th most popular. Nevertheless, Harvard boasts an abundance of boys named Will. And, shockingly, some of these Williams have the same last name as well. There is also some Jennifer intrigue (No. 2 in the eighties; drops to No. 25 in 2001). Nomenclature craziness: a primer.
Name: William James Adams Jr. ’06
Height: 5’11”
Hometown: Yorktown Heights, N.Y.
Age: 18
Throws: Right
Bats: Right
Superpowers: Thinking.
Your patented move: “The Spinneroni”
Catchphrase: “For sheezy.”
Favorite drink: Come on now, 18-year-olds never drink...
Are you characterized by your talent or hustle? By my heart.
Historical figure you most identify with and why: Alexander Hamilton, the best president we have ever had.
Favorite movie: Top Gun
Don’t you wish your parents had been more original in naming you? Obviously not.
Interesting hobbies or accomplishments: June 5, 2002 in Westchester County, N.Y. is officially forever known as William Adams (me) Day (not kidding).
Interesting personal statistics: Five meals per day, 12 police pullovers, zero tickets!
Slugging percentage (with the ladies): Batting 1.000. Confidence is key .
Name: William Jeffrey Adams ’04
Height: 6’0”
Hometown: Mechanicsburg, Pa.
Age: 21
Throws: Left
Bats: Left
Superpowers: Double-jointed thumbs, humming to myself.
Your patented move: Effeminate scream.
Catchphrase: I’m more known for causing uncomfortable silence than for what I actually say.
Favorite drink: 40—Olde English, preferably.
Are you characterized by your talent or hustle? Definitely not hustle.
Favorite movie: Zoolander
Don’t you wish your parents had been more original in naming you? What? No!
Interesting hobbies or accomplishments: I like visiting funny-looking buildings on campus. I got kicked out of the Herberia once. And there are really cool toilets on the top floor of the Semitic Museum.
Interesting personal statistics: I usually go to the Kong about three times a week, often more. I think my
favorite waiter is Peter (if you don’t know their names, you can find out by looking on the bottom of your check).
Slugging percentage (with the ladies): Killing William Lee, unsure about how I stack up against William James.
Name: William Lee Adams ’04
Height: 5’11”
Hometown: Fayetteville, Ga.
Age: 20
Superpowers: Undressing people with my eyes.
Patented move: The Elle Woods bend and snap.
Catchphrase: “Let’s get it percolatin’.”
Favorite drink: Grande Caramel Frappuccino
Throws: I’m ambidextrous.
Bats: I like to swing hard and for the pink team.
Are you characterized by your talent or hustle? It’s all about the hustle.
Historical figure you most identify with and why: The Marquis de Sade. I can’t turn down a good spanking.
Favorite movie: The Joy Luck Club.
Don’t you wish your parents had been more original in naming you? Yes. My mama wanted to give me a Vietnamese name like Hung but my father won out and named me after his favorite Confederate general instead. My brother is named Robert Lee Adams. Totally repetitive.
Interesting hobbies or accomplishments: I’m the reigning Miss Harvard.
Interesting personal statistics: Six toes on my left foot. Whenever William Jeffrey gets an e-mail with a subject like “Hey sister” he automatically forwards it to me. Also, the Coop accidentally doubles our rebate checks every year.
Slugging percentage (with the fellas): Sprint assigned me the cell phone number 617-308-0GUY. It’s indicative of a lot. And yes, this is a plug. Call me.
Name: Jennifer Hijou Lee ’05
Height: 5’4”
Hometown: Milwaukee, Wis. Mooooo.
Age: 20
Superpowers: Face-planting on the stairs, buckling down (on work).
Your patented move: The Buckle.
Favorite drink: Hot chocolate
Throws: Right
Bats: Right
Are you characterized by your talent or hustle? My talent, I think.
Historical figure you most identify with and why: My friend Sam suggested Franklin Pierce, the 14th President of the United States. I have yet to figure that one out.
Favorite movie: La Lengua de las Mariposas.
Don’t you wish your parents had been more original in naming you? Yes! They named my brother Emerson—my name just doesn’t compare to that. Maybe I should go by my middle name.
Interesting hobbies or accomplishments: Hobby: Looking through cookbooks, even though I can’t cook. Accomplishment: Achieving flight after being thrown off a horse.
Section attendance percentage: 100 percent, if you don’t count the one time I couldn’t find my section. Even the prof couldn’t find it.
Interesting personal statistics: Amount made on silly bets per week: $1,250. Harvard students just don’t know their odds.
Slugging percentage (with the fellas): 125 percent.
Name: Jennifer Yunn-Yi Lee ’04
Height: 5’5”
Hometown: San Diego, Calif.
Age: 20
Superpowers: Um...knowing pi to 30 decimal places.
Your patented move: Ask my boyfriend about that one...
Favorite Drink: Gin and tonic.
Throws: Right
Bats: Right
Are you characterized by your talent or hustle? Both—you can’t get anywhere good with just talent. You need hustle too.
Favorite Movie: Notting Hill
Don’t you wish your parents had been more original in naming you? No.
Interesting hobbies or accomplishments: Running a 3:40 in my first marathon, collecting bags and pens, beating the boys in basketball and running a successful business with my boyfriend.
Section attendance percentage: 100 percent.
Interesting personal statistics: You won’t find me in my own bed six nights out of the week.
Slugging percentage (with the fellas): N/A.
Bonus: Name confusion anecdotes from Richard Freeman ’03!
“I’m Richard Freeman. But so is my apparent doppelganger, an economics professor who is some kind of celebrity in his department. Since we have the same names, though, people send me e-mails all the time that are really intended for him. The first time it happened I was invited to a conference in Vienna. And they were ready to pay me to go too. I told them that I’d love to go to Vienna, as long as it was okay that I totally made up whatever I had to say at the conference. They didn’t go for it, but they were pretty nice about apologizing for the mix-up.
I get invited to Cornell sometimes to make appearances at all kinds of events. Sometimes they e-mail me with instructions for my secretary. I tell them I don’t have a secretary, but it would be pretty cool if I did. The worst was last summer when the other Richard Freeman published some controversial article in The New York Times about workers in Ireland. I had all kinds of belligerent Irishmen e-mailing me. And then I got on some e-mail list with all of these U.S. senators, and I e-mailed the list to ask to be taken off since I was the wrong guy, but all I got in response was some kind of security message, claiming that the content of my e-mail was not appropriate to be delivered to Senator so-and-so. And the other day at CVS I think they tried to give me Professor Freeman’s prescription by mistake. But I won’t say what it was.”