Lampoon Names Its Lord

Elijah Wood, star of Lord Of The Rings, won a chicken-wing-eating contest and pulled down his trousers twice to show the audience his “secret tattoo” at the Lampoon’s “Best Actor of All Time” award ceremony yesterday afternoon.

Over 300 people packed into Sever 113 to hear Wood answer questions from the audience and reenact a scene from the film with action figures.

“Elijah told us that he really hates answering questions, so we thought we’d prank him,” said Benjamin F. Dougan, incoming president of the Lampoon, a semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization which used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine.

“I was really taken aback,” Wood said after being asked about his reaction to the award. “It’s not your typical honor.”

Most of the questions asked were teasing in nature, and the audience laughed uproariously at many of Wood’s responses.

When asked by Andrea R. Bomar ’05, what he would do if, like in the film, he could turn invisible, Wood replied: “For all the guys here, there are things that I would definitely do.”

“But, seriously, I used to think about this and I wanted to go to Disneyland and stay there after the park closes—live there,” he said. “But as you grow up, you realize that Disneyland is actually a really shady place. Really [expletive] shady, so maybe I wouldn’t.”

When asked if he wanted to take part in Primal Scream, Wood said he would like to, but unfortunately he was leaving Sunday afternoon. The audience let out a collective sigh and loud screams of “we can do it early,” and “let’s do it now” were heard.

When asked about the hardships of filming Lord of the Rings for sixteen months straight in New Zealand, Wood replied that although “it was tough living away from home and enduring the schedule, it was more a joy than a burden. It was the opportunity of a lifetime.”

Wood also added that he had a serious crush on his co-star Cate Blanchett.

“I had to do this one big scene with her, and I was really nervous,” he said. “She is so beautiful... but she’s married dammit.”

After being asked if he preferred the Lord of the Rings books to the films, Wood replied that, even though he thought the film was as good as it could be, he still preferred the books.

“There’s nothing better than books,” he said. “It’s always your own journey.”

Although he was not presented with an award for being the “Best Actor of All Time,” Wood was awarded a “Lord of the Wings” trophy for winning a chicken-wing eating competition which took place before he began speaking.

Wood did not eat a single wing, but his opponent, a Lampoon staffer, was disqualified for being a member of a professional wing-eating club.

Wood spent the weekend with the Lampoon, attending a dinner on Saturday night in his honor. He was also brought to Annenberg dining hall before the speech Sunday in an attempt to advertise the event to freshmen.

“It’s been a [expletive] wicked weekend,” Wood said in closing. “Thank you so much.”

Audience reaction was overwhelmingly positive.

“I thought he was really cool,” said Megan E. Low, ’04. “I wasn’t sure what to expect, but he was so open and responsive to questions.”

But Wood did not fulfill everybody’s expectations. “I really wished he would have given me a kiss,” said Kaija-Leena Romero, ’05.

—Staff Writer Nicholas F. Josefowitz can be reached at josefow@fas.harvard.edu